I was athletic in my youth, but I wasn't really an athlete. I wasn't really that competitive or aggressive, so I had a hard time developing that 'winning' attitude.
But one day, it was different.
It was in eighth grade. And us guys were all lined up in two rows for wind sprints. The idea was that two guys would race each other down to the P.E. teacher and then, another two would race, and so on.
It came to be my turn. The guy opposite me was one of the fastest guys in the school. I won't mention any names, but his initials were K.B.
At first, K.B. was ahead of me. But I poured on the steam and caught up with him. He was surprised and poured it on as well. I caught up with him again. There we were, running neck and neck all the way down the field... both of us giving it everything we had, determined to beat the other one. Try as I might, I could not quite jet ahead of K.B., but then, he couldn't get the edge on me either.
We came in at a dead tie, heaving our lungs out.
I still remember that incident like it was yesterday.
A guy walked up to me afterwards...
"You stayed right with K.B.!" he marveled.
"Aw, he was just being nice," I replied.
"Are you kidding?" he shot back at me. "He was in front of his friends and there wasn't any way he was going to be 'nice' in front of them."
That made me feel real good. So good, in fact, I still remember every detail of the experience 41 years later!
It kind of reminds me of the Bruce Springsteen song, "Glory Days," talking about the people he knew who were stuck in the past, reliving their high school victories over and over.
That really is how many of us guys are... remembering the 'good old days.' Reliving the former days ad nauseum.
Why do we do that? Do we feel that our best days are behind? Are we threatened by the future? Are we unhappy? What is really going on inside of us when we do this?
A Bible verse that shocks me back to reality when I dwell too much on silly memories like this is Isaiah 43:18 and 19.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!”
This is God speaking.
Is it wrong to remember the past fondly? No, not really. As long as it does not cloud what's happening in the present, or where we're headed in our future.
For most of us, our best days are not behind us. They are in front of us - with God's guidance and help.
What are some goals or plans that the Lord would have you build into your understanding today?
As always, I welcome your comments.
Mark Joneschiet Music
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Weeping in Westminster
I was sobbing like a school girl.
Rewind approximately 30 minutes.
"Well, we're right here. We might as well start with Westminster Abbey," my family said. I could see the Westminster Chimes towering above us only a short distance away.
"Westminster Abbey?" I thought to myself. "Why do we want to spend the next few hours walking around some old church when the Westminster Chimes and all of London is waiting for us?"
Knowing I was outvoted, I grudgingly paid for the tickets to trudge around a church for the next few hours.
"Tickets... to go into a church?" I muttered to myself. "And you can't even take pictures in it!"
As I stepped through the door, I was seized by the same awesome wonderment that Lucy must have felt when she walked into the wardrobe and found herself in the Land of Narnia.
The first thing I noticed were beautiful marble statues all around me and an austerity I have never sensed in my entire life. All around were tombs and crypts of some of the most famous people in history - Henry the Eighth - Catherine the Great - David Livingston - William Wilberforce...
Quiet, somber reflection was evident among the people who had entered the Abbey with me.
Stepping into a large chamber, I glanced up and was awestruck as I noticed the tomb of George Fredrick Handel, with the words, "For I know that my Redeemer liveth," from Job 19:25 adorning it.
I had just completed writing a number of Christian songs earlier in the year, and in that moment, was suddenly in the presence of the remains of the man who wrote the Queen Mother of all worship tunes... "The Hallelujah Chorus."
I cry, maybe, once every two years. And I'm usually alone when I do it.
But this day, the tears began to flow. I couldn't stop them. It was embarrassing. I tried to hide my sobbing, wiping the tears with my hands. But they just kept flowing. And then my family noticed them.
"Dad, there's a little chapel back there where you can go and pray," my oldest daughter said.
"Thank you!" I whispered as I ran for the door, blubbering like a fool. Fortunately, the little chapel was empty. I closed the door and sat down, praying and thanking God for allowing me to be on this trip and to be able to give homage to such a great composer. I sat for at least 20 minutes, pouring out a plethora of pent-up emotion. It was an experience that etched God's love and care deep into my soul.
I later learned that Handel, who had cloistered himself in his room during the writing of "The Messiah", was sobbing just like I had been after he finished the "Hallelujah Chorus." A concerned friend had forced his way into his chamber, only to hear him say, "I do believe I have seen all of heaven before me... and the great God Himself."
I said all that to say this - why is it embarrassing for men to cry? Why do we keep our emotions buried so deep within our souls?
Yes, there are men who can cry freely, but they are the exception. Not the rule.
The shortest, and probably most poignant verse in the Bible is composed of two simple words... "Jesus wept." (John 11:35).
One of the most powerful but subtle scenes in the movie, "The Passion of the Christ," is when Christ dies on the cross... and the scene shifts to directly above the cross. Rain drops are falling. And suddenly, the camera starts to blur... and a drop forms and falls directly onto the cross. I pondered this while watching it, and realized that we were suddenly looking from God's perspective at what had just happened - and a tear formed in his eye and was shed.
So, do you cry? And what makes you cry? Is it easy for you to express your emotions? If not, why?
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Rewind approximately 30 minutes.
"Well, we're right here. We might as well start with Westminster Abbey," my family said. I could see the Westminster Chimes towering above us only a short distance away.
"Westminster Abbey?" I thought to myself. "Why do we want to spend the next few hours walking around some old church when the Westminster Chimes and all of London is waiting for us?"
Knowing I was outvoted, I grudgingly paid for the tickets to trudge around a church for the next few hours.
"Tickets... to go into a church?" I muttered to myself. "And you can't even take pictures in it!"
As I stepped through the door, I was seized by the same awesome wonderment that Lucy must have felt when she walked into the wardrobe and found herself in the Land of Narnia.
The first thing I noticed were beautiful marble statues all around me and an austerity I have never sensed in my entire life. All around were tombs and crypts of some of the most famous people in history - Henry the Eighth - Catherine the Great - David Livingston - William Wilberforce...
Quiet, somber reflection was evident among the people who had entered the Abbey with me.
Stepping into a large chamber, I glanced up and was awestruck as I noticed the tomb of George Fredrick Handel, with the words, "For I know that my Redeemer liveth," from Job 19:25 adorning it.
I had just completed writing a number of Christian songs earlier in the year, and in that moment, was suddenly in the presence of the remains of the man who wrote the Queen Mother of all worship tunes... "The Hallelujah Chorus."
I cry, maybe, once every two years. And I'm usually alone when I do it.
But this day, the tears began to flow. I couldn't stop them. It was embarrassing. I tried to hide my sobbing, wiping the tears with my hands. But they just kept flowing. And then my family noticed them.
"Dad, there's a little chapel back there where you can go and pray," my oldest daughter said.
"Thank you!" I whispered as I ran for the door, blubbering like a fool. Fortunately, the little chapel was empty. I closed the door and sat down, praying and thanking God for allowing me to be on this trip and to be able to give homage to such a great composer. I sat for at least 20 minutes, pouring out a plethora of pent-up emotion. It was an experience that etched God's love and care deep into my soul.
I later learned that Handel, who had cloistered himself in his room during the writing of "The Messiah", was sobbing just like I had been after he finished the "Hallelujah Chorus." A concerned friend had forced his way into his chamber, only to hear him say, "I do believe I have seen all of heaven before me... and the great God Himself."
I said all that to say this - why is it embarrassing for men to cry? Why do we keep our emotions buried so deep within our souls?
Yes, there are men who can cry freely, but they are the exception. Not the rule.
The shortest, and probably most poignant verse in the Bible is composed of two simple words... "Jesus wept." (John 11:35).
One of the most powerful but subtle scenes in the movie, "The Passion of the Christ," is when Christ dies on the cross... and the scene shifts to directly above the cross. Rain drops are falling. And suddenly, the camera starts to blur... and a drop forms and falls directly onto the cross. I pondered this while watching it, and realized that we were suddenly looking from God's perspective at what had just happened - and a tear formed in his eye and was shed.
So, do you cry? And what makes you cry? Is it easy for you to express your emotions? If not, why?
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Pugilistic Power in Prayer
"Bam!" "Pow!" "Kazowie!" Those were the words I saw on the t.v. screen whenever Batman and Robin would get into a scuffle with the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, and each of their henchmen... twice a week... "same Bat-time, same Bat-channel."
I loved superheroes when I was a kid! I watched "The Green Hornet" and even a really corny show called, "Captain Nice." If they had a mask or a cape, I was right there!
(By the way... the word on the street is that there is a president of a major Christian humanitarian organization who loves comic books - but we'll keep his name on the Q.T. for now.)
During this time (5th grade), we had a game we played on the field during recess. It consisted of dividing up into 2 teams clashing on the field and wrestling all over the ground with our opponents. Basically, it was a free-for-all wrestling match. WWF on the playground!
We would come in from recess with our shirts all grass-stained and sweaty and our hair completely disheveled. But we were happy as clams because we'd gotten all that adrenalin out of our systems and had done what boys our age liked to do.
Every once in awhile, there would be an after school fight (I was in way too many of these) where a couple guys would actually resort to fisticuffs - just like on the superhero shows we all loved to watch.
If there are any ladies reading this, you really ought to try it sometime, because us guys would be having problems with each other... but once we finished the fight, we'd walk away friends. It's so much easier than having all those angst-ridden relationships that you have among yourselves.
But, back to the subject at hand. Guys, you were born that way! And I don't care if you were a bookworm growing up... you were probably reading stories about wars and battles and conquering heroes.
Men, we were made to war. In fact, the Bible says that GOD is a warrior (Exodus 15:3)! And since we're created in His image, we're warriors too!
The only problem is, it wouldn't be apropos for grown men to be running around on a field wrestling with one another. (Actually, that sounds kind of fun, now that I think about it!)
So, how do YOU fulfill your destiny as a warrior?
Do you go and hang out downtown dressed in a costume, like Seattle's Phoenix Jones?
This is the way I have found that we are to walk out the warrior spirit God has placed in every one of us...
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12 - ESV).
Spiritually, every day, men... before we head out the door, we need to do what Paul recommends in Ephesians, chapter 6 -
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people" (Ephesians 6:14-18 - NIV).
So, go have some fun right now... get down on your knees... and totally mess up the Devil's battle plans against your life and the lives of those around you. "POW!" "BAM!" "ZOK!"
Feel free to add a comment to this post.
I loved superheroes when I was a kid! I watched "The Green Hornet" and even a really corny show called, "Captain Nice." If they had a mask or a cape, I was right there!
(By the way... the word on the street is that there is a president of a major Christian humanitarian organization who loves comic books - but we'll keep his name on the Q.T. for now.)
During this time (5th grade), we had a game we played on the field during recess. It consisted of dividing up into 2 teams clashing on the field and wrestling all over the ground with our opponents. Basically, it was a free-for-all wrestling match. WWF on the playground!
We would come in from recess with our shirts all grass-stained and sweaty and our hair completely disheveled. But we were happy as clams because we'd gotten all that adrenalin out of our systems and had done what boys our age liked to do.
Every once in awhile, there would be an after school fight (I was in way too many of these) where a couple guys would actually resort to fisticuffs - just like on the superhero shows we all loved to watch.
If there are any ladies reading this, you really ought to try it sometime, because us guys would be having problems with each other... but once we finished the fight, we'd walk away friends. It's so much easier than having all those angst-ridden relationships that you have among yourselves.
But, back to the subject at hand. Guys, you were born that way! And I don't care if you were a bookworm growing up... you were probably reading stories about wars and battles and conquering heroes.
Men, we were made to war. In fact, the Bible says that GOD is a warrior (Exodus 15:3)! And since we're created in His image, we're warriors too!
The only problem is, it wouldn't be apropos for grown men to be running around on a field wrestling with one another. (Actually, that sounds kind of fun, now that I think about it!)
So, how do YOU fulfill your destiny as a warrior?
Do you go and hang out downtown dressed in a costume, like Seattle's Phoenix Jones?
This is the way I have found that we are to walk out the warrior spirit God has placed in every one of us...
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12 - ESV).
Spiritually, every day, men... before we head out the door, we need to do what Paul recommends in Ephesians, chapter 6 -
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people" (Ephesians 6:14-18 - NIV).
So, go have some fun right now... get down on your knees... and totally mess up the Devil's battle plans against your life and the lives of those around you. "POW!" "BAM!" "ZOK!"
Feel free to add a comment to this post.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 5
So, if you're a Christian, how close are you to God?
From the little I've studied about Freud, he believed we develop our impression of God from our fathers. To some degree, I believe this. I think there's some credence to the idea that male figures in our lives make an impression on us about who God is.
Was your father strong, loving and wise? If what I said above is true, you are very fortunate. Was he wimpy and whiny? Or was he domineering and overbearing? Abusive? Withdrawing? Fearful? Namby-pamby? So-so? Jealous? Funny? Ridiculous? Brawny? Jovial? Brash? Devil-may-care? Brave? Silly? Angry? Gentle? Creative? Artistic? Handy? Practical? Quiet? Loud?
Whatever impression we have of our earthly dads, we need to be careful not to limit our understanding of God to either their strengths or weaknesses.
As much as we might admire our earthly fathers, God is greater still! As much as we might fear or loathe their behavior, God is perfect and not given to earthly faults or flaws.
Some men are fearful of God. Others are unimpressed. Still others are in awe.
How many of you know that there are feminine images of God in the Bible as well? The Bible describes God as 'laboring in childbirth,' and 'brooding as a mother hen over her chicks.' How do you feel about that? Is it awkward or does it comfort you to know that God describes Himself with those qualities?
What are your thoughts about God? I'd love to hear what you have to say... even from the ladies who visit here.
Please feel free to share your thoughts below.
From the little I've studied about Freud, he believed we develop our impression of God from our fathers. To some degree, I believe this. I think there's some credence to the idea that male figures in our lives make an impression on us about who God is.
Was your father strong, loving and wise? If what I said above is true, you are very fortunate. Was he wimpy and whiny? Or was he domineering and overbearing? Abusive? Withdrawing? Fearful? Namby-pamby? So-so? Jealous? Funny? Ridiculous? Brawny? Jovial? Brash? Devil-may-care? Brave? Silly? Angry? Gentle? Creative? Artistic? Handy? Practical? Quiet? Loud?
Whatever impression we have of our earthly dads, we need to be careful not to limit our understanding of God to either their strengths or weaknesses.
As much as we might admire our earthly fathers, God is greater still! As much as we might fear or loathe their behavior, God is perfect and not given to earthly faults or flaws.
Some men are fearful of God. Others are unimpressed. Still others are in awe.
How many of you know that there are feminine images of God in the Bible as well? The Bible describes God as 'laboring in childbirth,' and 'brooding as a mother hen over her chicks.' How do you feel about that? Is it awkward or does it comfort you to know that God describes Himself with those qualities?
What are your thoughts about God? I'd love to hear what you have to say... even from the ladies who visit here.
Please feel free to share your thoughts below.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 4
"You're JUST like your father!" How many of you guys have ever heard that proclaimed over you?
It's not always a bad thing. Some guys would love to be just like their fathers. I'm afraid however, that this decree is usually offered as a pejorative.
What I'm concerned with today is sinful traits of fathers. Many men believe in what some call 'generational sin' - the idea that if a father is involved in some kind of sinful practice or addiction, their son (or daughter) will probably practice that same sin.
The passage that most will cite to prove this is Exodus 20:5 - "For I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation of those that hate me, and showing mercy to thousands of those that love Me and keep My commandments."
The first thing I want to mention is that all of this is couched in the Old Testament. Since Jesus, the entire play book has changed.
But just to cut to the chase here, what this verse is really saying is exactly what it DOES say... that if a father sins, God will punish the children for their sins three and four generations down the line. It doesn't say the children will inherit their father's sinful tendencies. It says they will be punished for what their fathers did that was wrong in the sight of God.
So, it's a warning to fathers to think about what they do, because their children, their children and even their children's children could be punished for their sinful behavior.
That's a sobering thought.
But here's the good news! God rescinded that decree later in the book of Ezekiel - "The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:20).
So, where does that leave us with the idea that if your father sins, you'll probably be the same way? Well, we all have tendencies to be like our parents in certain ways. Like, a sibling will say, "You said that just like Dad," or, "Dad used to get that same expression on his face."
And it's true that certain tendencies can be genetic and a person will need to be careful about certain behaviors. But overall, there is nothing in scripture that says, if your dad sinned a certain way, you will too!
"Well, Dad had an affair, so I guess that explains why I had one too." "Dad was a drunk, so I guess that explains why I am too."
On and on the excuses go. But bottom line, our behavior is our own. And each of us will have to answer for it as individuals.
Today, my prayer is that everyone reading this will realize that they don't have to follow any of the poor behavior their father may have engaged in. Each of us has the power through God's grace to resist any weakness we may have in our character.
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (I Corinthians 10:13 - NIV).
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
It's not always a bad thing. Some guys would love to be just like their fathers. I'm afraid however, that this decree is usually offered as a pejorative.
What I'm concerned with today is sinful traits of fathers. Many men believe in what some call 'generational sin' - the idea that if a father is involved in some kind of sinful practice or addiction, their son (or daughter) will probably practice that same sin.
The passage that most will cite to prove this is Exodus 20:5 - "For I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation of those that hate me, and showing mercy to thousands of those that love Me and keep My commandments."
The first thing I want to mention is that all of this is couched in the Old Testament. Since Jesus, the entire play book has changed.
But just to cut to the chase here, what this verse is really saying is exactly what it DOES say... that if a father sins, God will punish the children for their sins three and four generations down the line. It doesn't say the children will inherit their father's sinful tendencies. It says they will be punished for what their fathers did that was wrong in the sight of God.
So, it's a warning to fathers to think about what they do, because their children, their children and even their children's children could be punished for their sinful behavior.
That's a sobering thought.
But here's the good news! God rescinded that decree later in the book of Ezekiel - "The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:20).
So, where does that leave us with the idea that if your father sins, you'll probably be the same way? Well, we all have tendencies to be like our parents in certain ways. Like, a sibling will say, "You said that just like Dad," or, "Dad used to get that same expression on his face."
And it's true that certain tendencies can be genetic and a person will need to be careful about certain behaviors. But overall, there is nothing in scripture that says, if your dad sinned a certain way, you will too!
"Well, Dad had an affair, so I guess that explains why I had one too." "Dad was a drunk, so I guess that explains why I am too."
On and on the excuses go. But bottom line, our behavior is our own. And each of us will have to answer for it as individuals.
Today, my prayer is that everyone reading this will realize that they don't have to follow any of the poor behavior their father may have engaged in. Each of us has the power through God's grace to resist any weakness we may have in our character.
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (I Corinthians 10:13 - NIV).
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 3
One of the most piercing moments in cinema history came when Luke Skywalker heard these words... "Luke, I am your father."
Fortunately, most of us have never had to deal with a realization of this magnitude - suddenly discovering that your father is one of the most cunning and ruthless individuals in the galaxy! The amazing thing is, Luke decided to love his sinister dad and the outcome was the salvation of the known universe.
Hopefully, your father was a saint - and a knight in shining armor. If not, these words may help you.
As I said before, I loved my dad - and in many ways, he was a knight. But I was cautious around him due to the issues I've previously mentioned.
During the Eighties, I went through the whole 'adult child grieving your losses' thing, which I seem to be making light of here, but in actuality, found some help in that process. The main thing I was dealing with is that I felt stuck in my life and didn't really feel 'grown up' even though I was in my late thirties.
One of the things that caused me to feel stuck was that I felt like I had to be pleased with my dad regardless of any of the hurt I felt.
Many people feel it's wrong to label their father's behavior as wrong or abusive. And they get stuck in their pain. This verse may be the source of why many feel they should respect their father, regardless:
"Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!" (Hebrews 12:9).
The key to understanding this passage is, we should respect our fathers when they practice true discipline. However, I don't think we're held accountable to respect them for things like ridicule or abuse. Discipline and abuse are two completely different behaviors.
What we as men need to realize is that we need to grieve the losses that we experienced with our fathers, but cherish the memories of the good times. Mostly what I have now are good memories - through forgiveness.
Good things I remember with my father are these... camping at Lofton Reservoir and catching lots of Rainbows - seeing movies like "A Fistful of Dollars" with him on a Sunday afternoon - climbing Stukel Mountain in search of the wily Mule Deer - lunches at the mill we worked at together when I had a summer job there - shooting pool together at the bowling alley - ice fishing at Lake of the Woods - ice skating at the pond at the end of Bristol Avenue - exploring dry creek beds near his old home place in South Dakota - Shooting Geese and Pheasants at State Line Road.
Don't lie to yourself about the bad times. Learn how to grieve and mourn them. In other words, get them out of your system. Forgive and be forgiven (please know... this may be a process). And most of all, cherish the good memories... and don't let anything take them away from you.
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Fortunately, most of us have never had to deal with a realization of this magnitude - suddenly discovering that your father is one of the most cunning and ruthless individuals in the galaxy! The amazing thing is, Luke decided to love his sinister dad and the outcome was the salvation of the known universe.
Hopefully, your father was a saint - and a knight in shining armor. If not, these words may help you.
As I said before, I loved my dad - and in many ways, he was a knight. But I was cautious around him due to the issues I've previously mentioned.
During the Eighties, I went through the whole 'adult child grieving your losses' thing, which I seem to be making light of here, but in actuality, found some help in that process. The main thing I was dealing with is that I felt stuck in my life and didn't really feel 'grown up' even though I was in my late thirties.
One of the things that caused me to feel stuck was that I felt like I had to be pleased with my dad regardless of any of the hurt I felt.
Many people feel it's wrong to label their father's behavior as wrong or abusive. And they get stuck in their pain. This verse may be the source of why many feel they should respect their father, regardless:
"Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!" (Hebrews 12:9).
The key to understanding this passage is, we should respect our fathers when they practice true discipline. However, I don't think we're held accountable to respect them for things like ridicule or abuse. Discipline and abuse are two completely different behaviors.
What we as men need to realize is that we need to grieve the losses that we experienced with our fathers, but cherish the memories of the good times. Mostly what I have now are good memories - through forgiveness.
Good things I remember with my father are these... camping at Lofton Reservoir and catching lots of Rainbows - seeing movies like "A Fistful of Dollars" with him on a Sunday afternoon - climbing Stukel Mountain in search of the wily Mule Deer - lunches at the mill we worked at together when I had a summer job there - shooting pool together at the bowling alley - ice fishing at Lake of the Woods - ice skating at the pond at the end of Bristol Avenue - exploring dry creek beds near his old home place in South Dakota - Shooting Geese and Pheasants at State Line Road.
Don't lie to yourself about the bad times. Learn how to grieve and mourn them. In other words, get them out of your system. Forgive and be forgiven (please know... this may be a process). And most of all, cherish the good memories... and don't let anything take them away from you.
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 2
Previously, I talked about how I was able to forgive my father when I learned he'd had Alzheimer's for a number of years. This accounted for many of the clashes we'd had over time.
What I haven't discussed is that the problems in our relationship were not a one-way street... all his fault, in other words.
I could be pretty insolent. And I don't think I need to go into detail on any of that. Just chalk it up that I needed to be forgiven by HIM on many occasions as well.
What I want to emphasize in this post is that, learning of my father's Alzheimer's made it easy for me to forgive him fully. I suddenly realized how scared he must have been at times, not understanding what was happening to his mind and emotions as this disease slowly advanced.
But that did not take me off the hook in forgiving him regularly WITHOUT that knowlege. And I DID practice forgiveness toward him. But perhaps, not as often or as fully I should have.
I believe the primary thing that needs to happen in fathers turning their hearts toward their children and children turning their hearts toward their fathers (as stated in Malachi 4:6 and mentioned in my previous post), is LOADS of forgiveness and understanding. Living in a family is not easy. It takes ENORMOUS amounts of grace to get along.
A significant passage regarding this is Ephesians 6:1 - 4. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother', for this is the first commandment with promise - so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (NIV)
It's understandable that scripture would admonish children to obey their parents, but it's the second part that frightens me... the idea that fathers would provoke their children to anger. Another translation says, "Fathers, don't make your children bitter about life..." (God's Word Translation).
In these days of widespread substance abuse, I'm hearing horrific stories of men who, with deliberation, strip their children of any sense of self-worth they might have. Ridicule, anger, accusation, belittlement, lies. Many children are growing up with little self-confidence and support.
If this is the environment you grew up in, or an environment you're fostering, there is healing. It may be a process, but there is hope. Jesus told us in Luke 1:37, "...with God, nothing shall be impossible." (KJV)
Feel free to comment below.
What I haven't discussed is that the problems in our relationship were not a one-way street... all his fault, in other words.
I could be pretty insolent. And I don't think I need to go into detail on any of that. Just chalk it up that I needed to be forgiven by HIM on many occasions as well.
What I want to emphasize in this post is that, learning of my father's Alzheimer's made it easy for me to forgive him fully. I suddenly realized how scared he must have been at times, not understanding what was happening to his mind and emotions as this disease slowly advanced.
But that did not take me off the hook in forgiving him regularly WITHOUT that knowlege. And I DID practice forgiveness toward him. But perhaps, not as often or as fully I should have.
I believe the primary thing that needs to happen in fathers turning their hearts toward their children and children turning their hearts toward their fathers (as stated in Malachi 4:6 and mentioned in my previous post), is LOADS of forgiveness and understanding. Living in a family is not easy. It takes ENORMOUS amounts of grace to get along.
A significant passage regarding this is Ephesians 6:1 - 4. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother', for this is the first commandment with promise - so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (NIV)
It's understandable that scripture would admonish children to obey their parents, but it's the second part that frightens me... the idea that fathers would provoke their children to anger. Another translation says, "Fathers, don't make your children bitter about life..." (God's Word Translation).
In these days of widespread substance abuse, I'm hearing horrific stories of men who, with deliberation, strip their children of any sense of self-worth they might have. Ridicule, anger, accusation, belittlement, lies. Many children are growing up with little self-confidence and support.
If this is the environment you grew up in, or an environment you're fostering, there is healing. It may be a process, but there is hope. Jesus told us in Luke 1:37, "...with God, nothing shall be impossible." (KJV)
Feel free to comment below.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)