I had a friend whose wife did all kinds of crazy things. She would disregard important issues in their lives, forget to pay bills when they had talked it over and she had agreed to take care of them, forgot to pick him up at work, etc.
He had a talk with his pastor about it and was blindsided when the pastor asked him, "Does your wife feel secure in your love?"
"What do you mean?"
"Does your wife really believe she's protected and cherished and that you'll never cut out on her?"
"Well, I've never thought about that. I would never do that, but I'm not sure she understands it that well."
"Let me tell you something about women," the pastor said. "Women are made in such a way that they need to feel as though they are cherished by their husbands. They need to feel as though their needs are being looked after and that they are the number one thought on their husband's minds every day. If they don't feel cared for, often, they will behave in erratic ways."
"I never realized that," the befuddled husband said.
The wise pastor continued...
"Christ used marriage as an example of His love for the church. Paul, in the book of Ephesians, used these words to show how a husband should act toward his wife."
They read this passage together -
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.'” (Ephesians 5:25 - 31 - NIV).
The pastor explained...
"It's not the wife who needs to make the husband feel secure. It's up to the husband to make his wife feel cherished and secure. I believe that when a husband loves his wife in a way that makes her feel completely cherished, many of the types of issues you are experiencing with your wife will dissipate."
My friend went back to his wife and had a long talk with her, repenting for many of the ways he had made her feel insecure, how little he had showed how much he cherished her, and promised that she could depend on him always. He changed his behavior as well and showed her how much he loved and cared for her each day. Almost immediately, most of the erratic behavior disappeared.
Does your wife know that you will never leave her or forsake her? Does she know that there is no other woman on earth who will catch your gaze or attract your heart?
One of the greatest tools in your arsenal against finding yourself in a romantic entanglement that you hadn't planned is to practice loving your wife every day in a way that makes her feel special and wanted.
This will make your marriage blossom and grow in ways you cannot imagine.
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