Mark Joneschiet Music
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I'm the President?
"I just can't help it! I can't stop using foul language!"
"I can't resist Butter Maple Raspberry Scones with my Latte."
"I see something advertised on T.V. and I just can't resist it. I have to get out my credit card and order it."
"I just can't pass a bar without going in and having too many beers. It's hopeless."
"I'm a slave to Internet porn. I can't resist cruising the Net for porn sites when I'm all by myself."
The statements above are from individuals who have addictive behavior. Most of us have weaknesses that we have difficulty overcoming.
In many of these cases, in order to break their addictions, these individuals will need help from outside of themselves. They may need the help of a caring professional and a number of friends and relatives praying for them. They will need to lean on God for strength.
The bottom line is, it's possible for them to lick these insidious dependencies.
It isn't easy to go head to head with a craving... a fixation... a habit. But they can be dealt with.
At the very root of what is going on in our lives when we are suffering from dependencies, is that we have lost the understanding that we have a will. Our wills have been corrupted and weakened by sin and they need to be resurrected and rebuilt through Christ.
A very wise pastor of mine from many years past made this statement one Sunday morning... and it changed my life - "You're the President of you."
Wow! That was a great phrase for me to grab on to. Ultimately, we will be judged for the choices we make in our lives, and what that means is that we have the power to make right choices. We may need to ask for help, but that in itself involves a choice.
We will never improve our situation, whatever it may be, without first making a choice in our lives. The initial choice may be to surrender our lives to Christ, but that is still a choice.
“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Gal. 5:16).
Remember... you are the president of you.
"I can't resist Butter Maple Raspberry Scones with my Latte."
"I see something advertised on T.V. and I just can't resist it. I have to get out my credit card and order it."
"I just can't pass a bar without going in and having too many beers. It's hopeless."
"I'm a slave to Internet porn. I can't resist cruising the Net for porn sites when I'm all by myself."
The statements above are from individuals who have addictive behavior. Most of us have weaknesses that we have difficulty overcoming.
In many of these cases, in order to break their addictions, these individuals will need help from outside of themselves. They may need the help of a caring professional and a number of friends and relatives praying for them. They will need to lean on God for strength.
The bottom line is, it's possible for them to lick these insidious dependencies.
It isn't easy to go head to head with a craving... a fixation... a habit. But they can be dealt with.
At the very root of what is going on in our lives when we are suffering from dependencies, is that we have lost the understanding that we have a will. Our wills have been corrupted and weakened by sin and they need to be resurrected and rebuilt through Christ.
A very wise pastor of mine from many years past made this statement one Sunday morning... and it changed my life - "You're the President of you."
Wow! That was a great phrase for me to grab on to. Ultimately, we will be judged for the choices we make in our lives, and what that means is that we have the power to make right choices. We may need to ask for help, but that in itself involves a choice.
We will never improve our situation, whatever it may be, without first making a choice in our lives. The initial choice may be to surrender our lives to Christ, but that is still a choice.
“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Gal. 5:16).
Remember... you are the president of you.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Reclaiming the Barracuda Fight in You
The story has been told, whether true or not, I'm not certain (I can't seem to find the source of this story but that doesn't take away from its impact), that a behavioral experiment was performed using a live Barracuda in a glass tank.
One of the favorite foods of Barracudas (known for being voracious predators) are Anchovies. And the big, mean behavioral scientists conducting this experiment designed the tank with a removable glass partition so that the Barracuda was on one side of the tank, and a small school of Anchovies were on the other.
Spotting the Anchovies, the Barracuda would move in for a hearty treat, only to bump its nose against an invisible barrier. Try as it could, it would only wind up with a sore proboscis when it tried to score a tasty snack.
After numerous attempts, the Barracuda quit trying to snag its prey.
Then, the big mean scientists decided to add insult to injury by removing the glass partition from between the Barracuda and the Anchovies. Having learned its impotence in being able to score an easy meal, the Barracuda would placidly swim past the Anchovies without so much as a meager attempt to score a mouthful. The Barracuda had been tricked out of its natural instinct by being deliberately thwarted over and over.
Often, humans are no different than this hapless fish. We get the message when we attempt to reach a particular goal and continue to be foiled. We give up trying. We start to build a shell around ourselves and begin to insulate ourselves from even the thought of achieving, in many instances.
It is in our human weakness that we collide with unattainable prospects. This was not intended from the beginning. God designed us to be princes and kings, but sin waylaid us and presented us with difficulties so insurmountable that many folks are paralyzed at the prospect of even making an attempt to conquer them.
When I discover myself in times of doubt, fear and uncertainty, I find the following passages to be of great comfort...
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 - NIV).
"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (John 19:26 - NIV)
From these passages, I glean that there is Someone bigger than my problems, standing and facing them with me. At the place where I end, God begins.
What frustrations have you faced in your life that make you feel unable to cope? What goals have you failed to meet that should be within your reach? God cares about your plight. Renew your covenant with Him today through Christ if you have found yourself in a place of barrenness and obstruction. Let God help you break through the formidable barriers in your life.
One of the favorite foods of Barracudas (known for being voracious predators) are Anchovies. And the big, mean behavioral scientists conducting this experiment designed the tank with a removable glass partition so that the Barracuda was on one side of the tank, and a small school of Anchovies were on the other.
Spotting the Anchovies, the Barracuda would move in for a hearty treat, only to bump its nose against an invisible barrier. Try as it could, it would only wind up with a sore proboscis when it tried to score a tasty snack.
After numerous attempts, the Barracuda quit trying to snag its prey.
Then, the big mean scientists decided to add insult to injury by removing the glass partition from between the Barracuda and the Anchovies. Having learned its impotence in being able to score an easy meal, the Barracuda would placidly swim past the Anchovies without so much as a meager attempt to score a mouthful. The Barracuda had been tricked out of its natural instinct by being deliberately thwarted over and over.
Often, humans are no different than this hapless fish. We get the message when we attempt to reach a particular goal and continue to be foiled. We give up trying. We start to build a shell around ourselves and begin to insulate ourselves from even the thought of achieving, in many instances.
It is in our human weakness that we collide with unattainable prospects. This was not intended from the beginning. God designed us to be princes and kings, but sin waylaid us and presented us with difficulties so insurmountable that many folks are paralyzed at the prospect of even making an attempt to conquer them.
When I discover myself in times of doubt, fear and uncertainty, I find the following passages to be of great comfort...
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 - NIV).
"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (John 19:26 - NIV)
From these passages, I glean that there is Someone bigger than my problems, standing and facing them with me. At the place where I end, God begins.
What frustrations have you faced in your life that make you feel unable to cope? What goals have you failed to meet that should be within your reach? God cares about your plight. Renew your covenant with Him today through Christ if you have found yourself in a place of barrenness and obstruction. Let God help you break through the formidable barriers in your life.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Slaves Going Back to Slavery?
The Fourth of July always makes me think a little beyond the physical and legal dimension we live in and more about the spiritual dimension of freedom that Christ has provided for us.
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1 - NIV).
Paul is writing to Jews who were once under what he termed as 'slavery' here. The slavery was to the law of the Old Testament which was a predecessor to the freedom and grace that God provided to followers of Christ after his death and resurrection.
The law was only a forerunner, Paul says, to the freedom that grace has provided for Christians during the time of the New Testament (now).
The law was an unending litany of rules and regulations that one had to observe in order to be 'right with God.' However, the only thing the law could do in the end is to reveal to us that it's impossible to keep the law in all of it's completeness.
Therefore, God sent Christ to completely fulfill the law, thus making Him innocent... and then, to sacrifice Himself on our behalf. The way we are able to enjoy what Christ did for us is to simply believe in the work He has performed.
However, there are many individuals who cannot believe that faith is all they need in order to find cleansing for their sin and enjoy the benefits of Christ's work. So, they add works to their faith, which puts them in the position of DOING something in order to obtain salvation.
This would be almost the same as America winning its freedom from Great Britain and then, surrendering to them. Would that make any sense at all? Of course not.
Why do we feel that we need to do something in order to merit God's free gift of salvation? Give money to charity? Crawl on our knees? Grovel? Become a missionary to deepest, darkest Africa?
You see, none of these things are wrong, in and of themselves. It's just that you can't buy salvation from God. It's been provided.
So, what do we do with this freedom God has provided to us? We celebrate it. We thank Him for it. And most of all, we nurture and cherish the relationship He has provided for us through it.
But we don't go back to a system that does't work in providing salvation for us. We need to enjoy the freedom that Jesus has provided for us, in fulfilling ALL of the Law on our behalf.
Are there ways in which you try to add works to what Christ has provided for you? Is God speaking to you about needing to accept His 'Declaration of Independence' from the Law?
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1 - NIV).
Paul is writing to Jews who were once under what he termed as 'slavery' here. The slavery was to the law of the Old Testament which was a predecessor to the freedom and grace that God provided to followers of Christ after his death and resurrection.
The law was only a forerunner, Paul says, to the freedom that grace has provided for Christians during the time of the New Testament (now).
The law was an unending litany of rules and regulations that one had to observe in order to be 'right with God.' However, the only thing the law could do in the end is to reveal to us that it's impossible to keep the law in all of it's completeness.
Therefore, God sent Christ to completely fulfill the law, thus making Him innocent... and then, to sacrifice Himself on our behalf. The way we are able to enjoy what Christ did for us is to simply believe in the work He has performed.
However, there are many individuals who cannot believe that faith is all they need in order to find cleansing for their sin and enjoy the benefits of Christ's work. So, they add works to their faith, which puts them in the position of DOING something in order to obtain salvation.
This would be almost the same as America winning its freedom from Great Britain and then, surrendering to them. Would that make any sense at all? Of course not.
Why do we feel that we need to do something in order to merit God's free gift of salvation? Give money to charity? Crawl on our knees? Grovel? Become a missionary to deepest, darkest Africa?
You see, none of these things are wrong, in and of themselves. It's just that you can't buy salvation from God. It's been provided.
So, what do we do with this freedom God has provided to us? We celebrate it. We thank Him for it. And most of all, we nurture and cherish the relationship He has provided for us through it.
But we don't go back to a system that does't work in providing salvation for us. We need to enjoy the freedom that Jesus has provided for us, in fulfilling ALL of the Law on our behalf.
Are there ways in which you try to add works to what Christ has provided for you? Is God speaking to you about needing to accept His 'Declaration of Independence' from the Law?
Friday, July 1, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
No Sheepishness About Being a Sheep.
I read an incredible article in an animal rescue magazine recently. It was
talking about animal’s personalities.
The author was talking about how animals have distinctive personalities.
For example, if you look at a flock of Sheep, you just see a flock of
sheep. But if you spend time with them, you will begin to notice that each
Sheep has a distinctive personality. In other words, they are not all the
same.
This caused me to think about Jesus’ words in John 10:14 and 15 –
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me– just as the
Father knows me and I know the Father…”
Of course, the analogy has to do with the fact that Jesus shepherds (leads
and takes care of) His followers.
Have you ever felt like you were just another number in a long line of
individuals with numbers? Waiting in a grocery line… waiting in a filling
station line… waiting in a doctor’s office… waiting at the DMV, etc.
“Next?” “Next?” “Next?” “Next?”
If so, here’s some good news. Jesus says He knows His sheep! You aren’t
just a number to him… another face… another body… another name. He knows
everything about you. He knows your current state of health, what you are
doing, what your likes and dislikes are, what your hobbies and interests
are, your quirks, strengths, weaknesses… and on and on.
In fact, He says in Luke 12:6 and 7, “Are not five sparrows sold for two
pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of
your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many
sparrows.”
Press into God! Realize that you are not a stranger to Him! He cares
about all your victories, all your defeats and all your anxieties. He
cares about all your dreams, all your aspirations and all your hopes.
Always remember to keep pressing in - for you are a unique and special creation of
God's!
talking about animal’s personalities.
The author was talking about how animals have distinctive personalities.
For example, if you look at a flock of Sheep, you just see a flock of
sheep. But if you spend time with them, you will begin to notice that each
Sheep has a distinctive personality. In other words, they are not all the
same.
This caused me to think about Jesus’ words in John 10:14 and 15 –
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me– just as the
Father knows me and I know the Father…”
Of course, the analogy has to do with the fact that Jesus shepherds (leads
and takes care of) His followers.
Have you ever felt like you were just another number in a long line of
individuals with numbers? Waiting in a grocery line… waiting in a filling
station line… waiting in a doctor’s office… waiting at the DMV, etc.
“Next?” “Next?” “Next?” “Next?”
If so, here’s some good news. Jesus says He knows His sheep! You aren’t
just a number to him… another face… another body… another name. He knows
everything about you. He knows your current state of health, what you are
doing, what your likes and dislikes are, what your hobbies and interests
are, your quirks, strengths, weaknesses… and on and on.
In fact, He says in Luke 12:6 and 7, “Are not five sparrows sold for two
pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of
your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many
sparrows.”
Press into God! Realize that you are not a stranger to Him! He cares
about all your victories, all your defeats and all your anxieties. He
cares about all your dreams, all your aspirations and all your hopes.
Always remember to keep pressing in - for you are a unique and special creation of
God's!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
The Oldest Profession (Part 2)
Speaking of the subject of work... It's definitely something that God is pleased with. Or, in another vein, LACK of work is something God is DIS-pleased with. Consider these Proverbs...
“Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man” (Proverbs 6:6-11).
“A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame” (Proverbs 10:4-5).
Now, here's the rub... while God seems to be pleased with work, it won't save anyone's soul.
Some individuals actually believe that on the day they stand before God, they'll be able to present their life of hard work, achievements and business acumen as what God will ultimately be pleased with. While He honors and respects hard work, it is nothing that will guarantee a ticket into Heaven.
In fact, there is nothing that will guarantee a home in heaven except for faith.
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8, 9).
And, of course, the faith we are speaking of here is faith in Christ and His finished work on the Cross.
So, here we are with a dilemma; God likes work, but works won't save you from Perdition.
And yet, the Bible tells us that works are good!
"For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done" (Matthew 16:27).
So, what will help us to understand the apparent impasse of all these ideas?
Well, it's simply this... we are saved by our faith. We are rewarded for our works. Many people get these two terms mixed up, or consider them to be synonyms. But they are not.
“Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man” (Proverbs 6:6-11).
“A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame” (Proverbs 10:4-5).
Now, here's the rub... while God seems to be pleased with work, it won't save anyone's soul.
Some individuals actually believe that on the day they stand before God, they'll be able to present their life of hard work, achievements and business acumen as what God will ultimately be pleased with. While He honors and respects hard work, it is nothing that will guarantee a ticket into Heaven.
In fact, there is nothing that will guarantee a home in heaven except for faith.
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8, 9).
And, of course, the faith we are speaking of here is faith in Christ and His finished work on the Cross.
So, here we are with a dilemma; God likes work, but works won't save you from Perdition.
And yet, the Bible tells us that works are good!
"For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done" (Matthew 16:27).
So, what will help us to understand the apparent impasse of all these ideas?
Well, it's simply this... we are saved by our faith. We are rewarded for our works. Many people get these two terms mixed up, or consider them to be synonyms. But they are not.
You see... there will be rewards in Heaven for what we have done for the Lord on earth. Once again... our works won't guarantee us a spot in Heaven, but they will give us dividends in eternity.
What things have you trusted in to earn God's love and favor? Are they legitimate, or are they false? Are you able to rest in the fact that Christ paid for your salvation completely, and that you do not need to earn your way to Heaven?
Feel free to leave comments.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
The Oldest Profession (Part 1)
I met a young man, probably in his early twenties, at a Farmer's Market recently, who told me he didn't work. He was hanging around the market playing a drum. Someone had told him he was a "drain on society" because he didn't work and he wasn't very happy about their estimation of him.
The conversation didn't last long enough for me to learn why he didn't work. Was it because he was on disability? Was it because he didn't believe in it? Was it because he was independently wealthy? A foray of questions went through my mind about why he didn't work.
The experience caused me to think about work and God's Word.
Many people refer to prostitution as 'the world's oldest profession.' However, that's not true. The world's oldest profession is landscaper. Adam's (the first man's) job was to "...dress the garden" (Genesis 2:15 - KJV).
Until sin entered the human race through Adam, work was a joy. After Adam fell, however, work became toil because the ground was cursed with "thorns and thistles" (Gen. 3:18 - KJV).
I always wondered why God said, "The ground is cursed because of you," (Gen. 3:17 - KJV) to Adam, until I realized that Adam was created from the ground (Gen. 2:7). His name literally means, "red clay."
Thus, the ground was cursed because the man from whom it was made was cursed, due to his sin.
It seems that, to a certain degree, even non-agrarian work tends to have "weeds" in it. In other words, even if a person finds their job to be rewarding, they tend to find aspects of it to be drudgery and difficult.
Nevertheless, it seems from scripture, men are supposed to work as mentioned in this passage from the New Testament -
"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody" (I Thessalonians 4:11 - NIV).
II Thessalonians 3:10 goes even further...
"For even when we were with you, we used to give you this command: 'If anyone is not willing to work, neither should he eat.'"
And, of course, the Bible gives provision for those who legitimately can't work and need to be cared for.
But, back to my young acquaintance who doesn't work... assuming he's of reasonably sound mind and is physically able, he should work. Plain and simple.
The world is too full of individuals who have fantastic physical and mental limitations, challenges, liabilities and other problems, who earn their way in this world.
Proverbs 26:13 says, "The lazy man says, "There is a lion in the road! A fierce lion is in the streets!" (KJV). Some people get very creative as to why they can't go to work. I'm sure employers have heard even more absurd excuses than this.
So, Christian men... it's incumbent upon you that if you are physically and mentally able to, to work. And not only to work, but to overcome the "weeds" found in your work in order to find value in being productive and not lazy.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Being the Hero
Another movie is coming out about a Super Hero - the Green Lantern! I LOVE what they're doing with special effects these days. When I was little, I always wished they would be able to create some movie magic that would make these comic book heroes come to life. AND THEY HAVE!!!
As I've remarked before, I'm all about the hero... the guy who swoops in to save the day. And I think God made us to be that way, men... to be the savior... the guy with the cape and symbol on his chest to save the damsel in distress, as it were.
There is an immense dichotomy, however, regarding what a true hero is in the light of scripture.
The Apostle Paul talks about this in this passage...
"I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses" (2 Corinthians 12:2 - 9).
The Hebrews believed in three heavens... the sky above us where the clouds roam (known as 'the firmament' in scripture), the place where the stars dwell (outer space) and actual Heaven... the dwelling place of God. God's dwelling place is the 'Third Heaven' Paul is referring to here.
Paul saw things that were unimaginable. However, God saw the potential in Paul for pride because of what he saw (theologian that he was), so a literal demon was given to him to pummel his physical body... something he asked God to take away... three times! But, God evidently deemed it proper to leave this demonic entity in Paul's life to keep him from falling according to pride... in the same way Satan originally had (Isaiah 14:3 - 20).
Paul follows the above passage up with this astounding statement... "That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (II Corinthians 12:10 - NIV).
The hard part about walking in the Kingdom, guys, is that God is more pleased when we surrender the areas we have strength in to Him... and function in areas we may not be too strong in.
It's hard for us to do such a thing, because we want to be those warriors who defeat the foe. And we fantasize about physically thwarting some evil thing that threatens our family or a loved one.
Scripture explains the way we get to vanquish the real foes in our lives... on our knees.
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (II Corinthians 10:3 - 5 - NIV).
The most effective thing we can do as men who love our families, friends, acquaintances, etc., is to spend time every day warring over issues we and they are facing... through prayer.
Are you the hero, men? Warriors in your family and workplace? As Mary Jane Watson would say to Spidey... "Go get 'em, Tiger!"
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Your Cheatin' Heart (Part 4)
I had a friend whose wife did all kinds of crazy things. She would disregard important issues in their lives, forget to pay bills when they had talked it over and she had agreed to take care of them, forgot to pick him up at work, etc.
He had a talk with his pastor about it and was blindsided when the pastor asked him, "Does your wife feel secure in your love?"
"What do you mean?"
"Does your wife really believe she's protected and cherished and that you'll never cut out on her?"
"Well, I've never thought about that. I would never do that, but I'm not sure she understands it that well."
"Let me tell you something about women," the pastor said. "Women are made in such a way that they need to feel as though they are cherished by their husbands. They need to feel as though their needs are being looked after and that they are the number one thought on their husband's minds every day. If they don't feel cared for, often, they will behave in erratic ways."
"I never realized that," the befuddled husband said.
The wise pastor continued...
"Christ used marriage as an example of His love for the church. Paul, in the book of Ephesians, used these words to show how a husband should act toward his wife."
They read this passage together -
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.'” (Ephesians 5:25 - 31 - NIV).
The pastor explained...
"It's not the wife who needs to make the husband feel secure. It's up to the husband to make his wife feel cherished and secure. I believe that when a husband loves his wife in a way that makes her feel completely cherished, many of the types of issues you are experiencing with your wife will dissipate."
My friend went back to his wife and had a long talk with her, repenting for many of the ways he had made her feel insecure, how little he had showed how much he cherished her, and promised that she could depend on him always. He changed his behavior as well and showed her how much he loved and cared for her each day. Almost immediately, most of the erratic behavior disappeared.
Does your wife know that you will never leave her or forsake her? Does she know that there is no other woman on earth who will catch your gaze or attract your heart?
One of the greatest tools in your arsenal against finding yourself in a romantic entanglement that you hadn't planned is to practice loving your wife every day in a way that makes her feel special and wanted.
This will make your marriage blossom and grow in ways you cannot imagine.
He had a talk with his pastor about it and was blindsided when the pastor asked him, "Does your wife feel secure in your love?"
"What do you mean?"
"Does your wife really believe she's protected and cherished and that you'll never cut out on her?"
"Well, I've never thought about that. I would never do that, but I'm not sure she understands it that well."
"Let me tell you something about women," the pastor said. "Women are made in such a way that they need to feel as though they are cherished by their husbands. They need to feel as though their needs are being looked after and that they are the number one thought on their husband's minds every day. If they don't feel cared for, often, they will behave in erratic ways."
"I never realized that," the befuddled husband said.
The wise pastor continued...
"Christ used marriage as an example of His love for the church. Paul, in the book of Ephesians, used these words to show how a husband should act toward his wife."
They read this passage together -
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.'” (Ephesians 5:25 - 31 - NIV).
The pastor explained...
"It's not the wife who needs to make the husband feel secure. It's up to the husband to make his wife feel cherished and secure. I believe that when a husband loves his wife in a way that makes her feel completely cherished, many of the types of issues you are experiencing with your wife will dissipate."
My friend went back to his wife and had a long talk with her, repenting for many of the ways he had made her feel insecure, how little he had showed how much he cherished her, and promised that she could depend on him always. He changed his behavior as well and showed her how much he loved and cared for her each day. Almost immediately, most of the erratic behavior disappeared.
Does your wife know that you will never leave her or forsake her? Does she know that there is no other woman on earth who will catch your gaze or attract your heart?
One of the greatest tools in your arsenal against finding yourself in a romantic entanglement that you hadn't planned is to practice loving your wife every day in a way that makes her feel special and wanted.
This will make your marriage blossom and grow in ways you cannot imagine.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Your Cheatin' Heart (Part 3)
As we watch another national figure sink deeper into a quagmire where he may have to resign his seat in Congress, we are reminded why cheating is such serious business (in this case, it may not even involve a physical relationship with someone. Only indecent pictures texted via social media).
People in high profile in our nation are facing serious consequences for their actions. A former Governor is currently having to face a several million dollar divorce - a pro golfer has lost millions in marketing support for having multiple affairs. There are serious consequences for failure in the faithfulness department.
What usually takes the greatest beating when there is unfaithfulness, however, are the relationships men have with those who mean the most to them.
I believe that most men who cheat think about the consequences of their actions, but feel a sort of invulnerability about being caught. In other words, they think about what possibly could happen, but don't really believe it will.
That is why the devastation is so pronounced when the truth finally comes out.
And that's why some men take chances... foolish chances that can cost them untold heartache and agony.
A wise pastor I knew at one time, who is no longer with us, used to say this often... "Sin will always take you farther than you want to go... make you stay longer than you want to stay... and make you pay more than you want to pay."
We as men need to ask ourselves often, "Are moments of pleasure worth a lifetime of pain?"
And let me say, I know there are many men who practice faithfulness in their lives and marriages, and they should be greatly commended. However, I have been so caught off guard by men who have been caught in an affair. It has taught me that there is NO one who is immune to this temptation.
If you have failed in this area, there is redemption. If you are tempted in this area, there is provision. And if you have hurt someone, there is always the possibility of reconciliation.
As Jesus said, "...the things which are impossible with men are possible with God" (Luke 18:27 - NIV).
People in high profile in our nation are facing serious consequences for their actions. A former Governor is currently having to face a several million dollar divorce - a pro golfer has lost millions in marketing support for having multiple affairs. There are serious consequences for failure in the faithfulness department.
What usually takes the greatest beating when there is unfaithfulness, however, are the relationships men have with those who mean the most to them.
I believe that most men who cheat think about the consequences of their actions, but feel a sort of invulnerability about being caught. In other words, they think about what possibly could happen, but don't really believe it will.
That is why the devastation is so pronounced when the truth finally comes out.
And that's why some men take chances... foolish chances that can cost them untold heartache and agony.
A wise pastor I knew at one time, who is no longer with us, used to say this often... "Sin will always take you farther than you want to go... make you stay longer than you want to stay... and make you pay more than you want to pay."
We as men need to ask ourselves often, "Are moments of pleasure worth a lifetime of pain?"
And let me say, I know there are many men who practice faithfulness in their lives and marriages, and they should be greatly commended. However, I have been so caught off guard by men who have been caught in an affair. It has taught me that there is NO one who is immune to this temptation.
If you have failed in this area, there is redemption. If you are tempted in this area, there is provision. And if you have hurt someone, there is always the possibility of reconciliation.
As Jesus said, "...the things which are impossible with men are possible with God" (Luke 18:27 - NIV).
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Your Cheatin' Heart (Part 2)
Before writing this segment of my blog, I did some research on the Internet using the words, "Why men cheat." Part of the results were some articles that said men cheat because they were intended to be polygamous and that we should get over the idea of monogamy.
In fact, I had a co-worker ask one day, "Where did we get the idea from the Bible that men were supposed to be monogamous?"
We were discussing the verse in I Timothy 3:2 where Paul instructs Timothy that Elders in the church must be, "...the husband of one wife," meaning that they must not be polygamous (a reflection of the time and area of the world they lived in).
Well, I have to admit I was a little stumped on that one for a bit, due to the fact that there were some characters well thought of by God in the Old Testament (Solomon, for example) who were polygamous. Finally, I reached a conclusion that I believe is Biblical - It's Adam and Eve... not Adam, Eve, Susie, Jane, Bernice and Hortense.
The original model for man apparently, was one husband and one wife. Jesus said in Matthew 19:5, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh" (NIV). There is no room in that statement for a multiplicity of wives. One plus one equals two.
The first polygamous marriage recorded in scripture is found in Genesis 4:19 - "Lamech married two women, one named Adah and the other Zillah" (NIV).
And, with all this... I don't really want to get into an entire treatise in support of monogamy. What I do want to do is to challenge the lie that 'men were intended to be polygamous, therefore, it's okay to cheat.' It's an absurd supposition.
All this does is give an excuse to men who are trying to find a reason to be unfaithful. However, this is the type of ludicrous thinking that invades men's hearts and minds these days.
This is a second element that figures into why men cheat. In the same way that Eve made all kinds of rationalizations to eat the forbidden fruit (good for food, pleasing to the eye, desirable for gaining wisdom - Gen. 3:6), so men make rationalizations that cheating is okay - even preposterous rationalizations such as the one mentioned above.
This is not the only thought that can lead a man to destruction. Others are...
"It's only this one time." "You've been under a lot of stress." "How can any man stand up under a temptation like this?" "I didn't expect this to happen. I was unprepared."
And so on, and so on.
We will discuss remedies in future posts.
For now, what types of safeguards do you have in your life to protect you against temptation? Do you allow yourself to be in tempting situations? Do you have any rationalizations that ever put you in a place of danger?
Please feel free to leave a response.
In fact, I had a co-worker ask one day, "Where did we get the idea from the Bible that men were supposed to be monogamous?"
We were discussing the verse in I Timothy 3:2 where Paul instructs Timothy that Elders in the church must be, "...the husband of one wife," meaning that they must not be polygamous (a reflection of the time and area of the world they lived in).
Well, I have to admit I was a little stumped on that one for a bit, due to the fact that there were some characters well thought of by God in the Old Testament (Solomon, for example) who were polygamous. Finally, I reached a conclusion that I believe is Biblical - It's Adam and Eve... not Adam, Eve, Susie, Jane, Bernice and Hortense.
The original model for man apparently, was one husband and one wife. Jesus said in Matthew 19:5, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh" (NIV). There is no room in that statement for a multiplicity of wives. One plus one equals two.
The first polygamous marriage recorded in scripture is found in Genesis 4:19 - "Lamech married two women, one named Adah and the other Zillah" (NIV).
And, with all this... I don't really want to get into an entire treatise in support of monogamy. What I do want to do is to challenge the lie that 'men were intended to be polygamous, therefore, it's okay to cheat.' It's an absurd supposition.
All this does is give an excuse to men who are trying to find a reason to be unfaithful. However, this is the type of ludicrous thinking that invades men's hearts and minds these days.
This is a second element that figures into why men cheat. In the same way that Eve made all kinds of rationalizations to eat the forbidden fruit (good for food, pleasing to the eye, desirable for gaining wisdom - Gen. 3:6), so men make rationalizations that cheating is okay - even preposterous rationalizations such as the one mentioned above.
This is not the only thought that can lead a man to destruction. Others are...
"It's only this one time." "You've been under a lot of stress." "How can any man stand up under a temptation like this?" "I didn't expect this to happen. I was unprepared."
And so on, and so on.
We will discuss remedies in future posts.
For now, what types of safeguards do you have in your life to protect you against temptation? Do you allow yourself to be in tempting situations? Do you have any rationalizations that ever put you in a place of danger?
Please feel free to leave a response.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Your Cheatin' Heart (Part 1)
"Jim (fictitious name) will no longer be the leader you report to," the voice on the other end of the phone sadly informed me. "He's been removed from his pastorate. He's been involved in multiple affairs."
Sitting in my office, I was both saddened and stunned. This individual who had been placed over me as a regional leader in one of my pastorates had been living a double life. A husband and father, community leader and pastor; he was no longer in the ministry and had been publicly humiliated through a newspaper article that outlined his failings to an entire community.
Before anyone goes clucking their tongues over this, please realize... NO man is immune to this temptation. I know a number of men who were never in the ministry who have become unfaithful as well.
What causes men to go astray? What incites them to be unfaithful to the woman they promised to love and cherish... "till death do us part?"
I do not think there are any easy answers to this question, due to the fact that all of us are such complex beings. We all have different personality traits, likes and dislikes, character traits, and so on.
However, I believe there are some shared elements that help us understand what causes men to take such risks.
One of the deepest needs all individuals share, men and women alike, is a reason to exist - a need to have purpose and value, in other words.
A man who has lacks purpose and value will be hungry for anything that can come along and fill it.
Even men who have achieved great accomplishments in their lives can feel as though they lack these two elements.
Enter someone who suddenly appreciates them where, perhaps, they haven't been all that appreciated at home. Someone who isn't tied down by duties with the children, cooking, bed making, dish washing, etc. Someone who has time to appreciate this individual who has been feeling as though their life isn't really counting for much.
A movie was released in the year 2000 that doesn't deal specifically with the subject of marital infidelity, but is a perfect example of how a man can be wooed away from a wonderful relationship with a real partner by the desire for more worth, value and accomplishment in his life. The movie... The Family Man starring Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni.
In the movie, Cage plays a Scrooge-type character who is about to be married, but instead of heeding his fiance's intuitive concerns, leaves her to spend a year in London building their financial future. Even though he promises to return, he never does. He has placed his need for worth above the day-to-day relationship and then (in Dickens-like fashion), has a chance to see what his life would have been like if he had heeded his intended's concerns. It's simple, humdrum and day-to-day, with a less-than-exciting career as a manager of a tire store.
But, through the experience, he finds worth and value in the fray of everyday life, with all its banality, common-ness and simplicity.
One of the things a man needs to realize when he marries a woman is that his dreams may never be realized in the way he expects or desires for them to be. He needs to make a pact in his heart before God that this is the woman he intends to be faithful to through all the disappointments and anguishes of life. And to never allow anything or anyone interrupt that commitment.
This, I believe, is the fundamental commitment a man needs to make in his heart in order for a marriage to not only survive, but to thrive and to blossom throughout his life.
Sitting in my office, I was both saddened and stunned. This individual who had been placed over me as a regional leader in one of my pastorates had been living a double life. A husband and father, community leader and pastor; he was no longer in the ministry and had been publicly humiliated through a newspaper article that outlined his failings to an entire community.
Before anyone goes clucking their tongues over this, please realize... NO man is immune to this temptation. I know a number of men who were never in the ministry who have become unfaithful as well.
What causes men to go astray? What incites them to be unfaithful to the woman they promised to love and cherish... "till death do us part?"
I do not think there are any easy answers to this question, due to the fact that all of us are such complex beings. We all have different personality traits, likes and dislikes, character traits, and so on.
However, I believe there are some shared elements that help us understand what causes men to take such risks.
One of the deepest needs all individuals share, men and women alike, is a reason to exist - a need to have purpose and value, in other words.
A man who has lacks purpose and value will be hungry for anything that can come along and fill it.
Even men who have achieved great accomplishments in their lives can feel as though they lack these two elements.
Enter someone who suddenly appreciates them where, perhaps, they haven't been all that appreciated at home. Someone who isn't tied down by duties with the children, cooking, bed making, dish washing, etc. Someone who has time to appreciate this individual who has been feeling as though their life isn't really counting for much.
A movie was released in the year 2000 that doesn't deal specifically with the subject of marital infidelity, but is a perfect example of how a man can be wooed away from a wonderful relationship with a real partner by the desire for more worth, value and accomplishment in his life. The movie... The Family Man starring Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni.
In the movie, Cage plays a Scrooge-type character who is about to be married, but instead of heeding his fiance's intuitive concerns, leaves her to spend a year in London building their financial future. Even though he promises to return, he never does. He has placed his need for worth above the day-to-day relationship and then (in Dickens-like fashion), has a chance to see what his life would have been like if he had heeded his intended's concerns. It's simple, humdrum and day-to-day, with a less-than-exciting career as a manager of a tire store.
But, through the experience, he finds worth and value in the fray of everyday life, with all its banality, common-ness and simplicity.
One of the things a man needs to realize when he marries a woman is that his dreams may never be realized in the way he expects or desires for them to be. He needs to make a pact in his heart before God that this is the woman he intends to be faithful to through all the disappointments and anguishes of life. And to never allow anything or anyone interrupt that commitment.
This, I believe, is the fundamental commitment a man needs to make in his heart in order for a marriage to not only survive, but to thrive and to blossom throughout his life.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
The Raging Beast Within (Part 4)
I am posting the link to Clay Crosse's story again because I will reference it in this post - Click here
Clay had difficulty with pornography because he was exposed to it in the fourth grade. Although it may be shocking to some, I do not believe this is uncommon in today's culture. Perhaps children even younger than this are being exposed regularly.
Cable television and the Internet are ways in which children can easily access porn these days.
I believe that many men who have difficulties with porn are exposed to it as grade-schoolers or during their early teens.
One of the reasons I believe pornography is rampant today is that emerging teens are not prepared for what is going to happen in their bodies and minds as they begin to enter adulthood. They are not taught what will happen when their testosterone levels begin to increase rapidly and how to deal with it.
Here is link that encapsulates what happens when a boy begins to enter puberty - Click here
This is a difficult time in a child's life. And research seems to be telling us that boys and girls are beginning to enter puberty at younger ages.
Some churches and youth groups are beginning to take on the task of helping pre-teens deal with puberty, and are doing a great service to their youth. But parents need to be the most active in helping their children deal with the temptations they will face as they develop.
One thing is certain... if an individual doesn't understand the enemy they are facing... they will never win the battle.
As always, please feel free to comment below.
Clay had difficulty with pornography because he was exposed to it in the fourth grade. Although it may be shocking to some, I do not believe this is uncommon in today's culture. Perhaps children even younger than this are being exposed regularly.
Cable television and the Internet are ways in which children can easily access porn these days.
I believe that many men who have difficulties with porn are exposed to it as grade-schoolers or during their early teens.
One of the reasons I believe pornography is rampant today is that emerging teens are not prepared for what is going to happen in their bodies and minds as they begin to enter adulthood. They are not taught what will happen when their testosterone levels begin to increase rapidly and how to deal with it.
Here is link that encapsulates what happens when a boy begins to enter puberty - Click here
This is a difficult time in a child's life. And research seems to be telling us that boys and girls are beginning to enter puberty at younger ages.
Some churches and youth groups are beginning to take on the task of helping pre-teens deal with puberty, and are doing a great service to their youth. But parents need to be the most active in helping their children deal with the temptations they will face as they develop.
One thing is certain... if an individual doesn't understand the enemy they are facing... they will never win the battle.
As always, please feel free to comment below.
The Raging Beast Within (Part 3)
So, how do you deal with a porn addiction?
Many men have considered Job's confession in Job 31:1 (NIV) - "I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl," and said to themselves, "Yeah, right."
Our media inundates us continually with images of barely clad stars and starlets. Summer wear and fashion continue to get more and more revealing. It prompts men to ask the question presented in Psalm 119:9, "How can a young man keep his way pure?" (NIV).
The answer from the same verse is, "By living according to your (God's) word."
This is a good answer, but I'm afraid it needs to be defined in much greater detail for many men, especially these days.
Men, particularly Christian men, who view porn tend to feel isolated and fearful. They feel stigmatized and rejected, even though their activity may be known only to them.
As embarrassing and shameful as they may feel, their secret needs to be brought into the open, not publicly, but in a safe environment, with trusted men who will not betray their confidence.
Along with this, they need to agree to be brutally honest about their activities on the web and other avenues through which they view inappropriate material.
They also need loads and loads of prayer from their confidantes, and prayer for themselves as well.
This is a very tough addiction... every bit as hard as alcohol and drugs in many cases. But it can be won. Consider the testimony of this brave Christian singer, Clay Cross - Click here
What are your thoughts on how Clay became trapped in this delimna... and how he got free?
Please feel free to comment below.
Many men have considered Job's confession in Job 31:1 (NIV) - "I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl," and said to themselves, "Yeah, right."
Our media inundates us continually with images of barely clad stars and starlets. Summer wear and fashion continue to get more and more revealing. It prompts men to ask the question presented in Psalm 119:9, "How can a young man keep his way pure?" (NIV).
The answer from the same verse is, "By living according to your (God's) word."
This is a good answer, but I'm afraid it needs to be defined in much greater detail for many men, especially these days.
Men, particularly Christian men, who view porn tend to feel isolated and fearful. They feel stigmatized and rejected, even though their activity may be known only to them.
As embarrassing and shameful as they may feel, their secret needs to be brought into the open, not publicly, but in a safe environment, with trusted men who will not betray their confidence.
Along with this, they need to agree to be brutally honest about their activities on the web and other avenues through which they view inappropriate material.
They also need loads and loads of prayer from their confidantes, and prayer for themselves as well.
This is a very tough addiction... every bit as hard as alcohol and drugs in many cases. But it can be won. Consider the testimony of this brave Christian singer, Clay Cross - Click here
What are your thoughts on how Clay became trapped in this delimna... and how he got free?
Please feel free to comment below.
Monday, May 30, 2011
The Raging Beast Within (Part 2)
I would like to say that pornography isn't a problem in the Church. However, that evidently is not the case.
In one of my pastorates, a parishioner lent me his truck while my car was being worked on. I noticed a hesitancy on his part as I drove off. Something inside told me there was pornography under the seat of the vehicle. I pulled over, reached under the seat - and sure enough... there was a porn magazine lying there.
I scheduled a meeting with the man in my office and we had a long, prayerful talk about the situation.
It appears that viewing pornography is quite pronounced among Christians according to this 2008 Christianity Today article - Click here.
In one of my pastorates, a parishioner lent me his truck while my car was being worked on. I noticed a hesitancy on his part as I drove off. Something inside told me there was pornography under the seat of the vehicle. I pulled over, reached under the seat - and sure enough... there was a porn magazine lying there.
I scheduled a meeting with the man in my office and we had a long, prayerful talk about the situation.
It appears that viewing pornography is quite pronounced among Christians according to this 2008 Christianity Today article - Click here.
What exactly is wrong with viewing porn?
The most glaring fault is that it gives approval to the lewdness and fornication that is being performed by the models, actors and actresses. A person viewing pornography is giving their ascent to what is being carried out before the cameras. It says, "I agree with what is going on in this photo or video."
Second, it lends support to an industry that promotes illicit behavior. People at the top of the this industry are raking in massive amounts of money promoting it and presenting it to the masses.
Third, it creates an unrealistic ideal in one's mind as to how a man's or a woman's body should look - and how it should perform.
Fourth, it replaces a man's natural interest in his wife's physical appearance. Men who view pornography regularly tend to lose interest in their wife's appearance. When they stop viewing it, they become interested again.
Fifth, it generates lust that is not acted out in a loving and appropriate way with one's spouse. The Bible is very clear... sex outside of marriage is either adultery or fornication - even if it is only in the mind.
In the case of my parishioner, he repented and established regular accountability with me in his struggles with porn. Interestingly, his wife, who was quite overweight, lost several pounds and became very trim and attractive.
How do you struggle in this area? What types of safeguards and accountability have you put up in your life in order to keep yourself unstained by pornography? Can you add anything to what is wrong with pornography?
As always, please feel free to comment below.
The most glaring fault is that it gives approval to the lewdness and fornication that is being performed by the models, actors and actresses. A person viewing pornography is giving their ascent to what is being carried out before the cameras. It says, "I agree with what is going on in this photo or video."
Second, it lends support to an industry that promotes illicit behavior. People at the top of the this industry are raking in massive amounts of money promoting it and presenting it to the masses.
Third, it creates an unrealistic ideal in one's mind as to how a man's or a woman's body should look - and how it should perform.
Fourth, it replaces a man's natural interest in his wife's physical appearance. Men who view pornography regularly tend to lose interest in their wife's appearance. When they stop viewing it, they become interested again.
Fifth, it generates lust that is not acted out in a loving and appropriate way with one's spouse. The Bible is very clear... sex outside of marriage is either adultery or fornication - even if it is only in the mind.
In the case of my parishioner, he repented and established regular accountability with me in his struggles with porn. Interestingly, his wife, who was quite overweight, lost several pounds and became very trim and attractive.
How do you struggle in this area? What types of safeguards and accountability have you put up in your life in order to keep yourself unstained by pornography? Can you add anything to what is wrong with pornography?
As always, please feel free to comment below.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Raging Beast Within (Part 1)
Guys, this is where we start getting down to some of the nitty-gritty issues of being a man.
I mentioned at the beginning of this blog that there is a book that was popular a few years back that talked about men's issues. I also mentioned that it didn't go deep enough for me. This is where we start going deeper.
I found out a short time back that a man I know lost his wife. It was over online porn. He was addicted to it.
Since the advent of the Internet, this scenario is being played out in greater and greater abundance. It is a problem that is not going away.
This is not being written to condemn any man for getting hooked on this because it can be a powerful addiction. The reason it can be so powerful is because of the way men are wired.
Men are wired in such a way that seeing something seductive or sensual can produce the hormone, testosterone, in their systems. Women are not wired this way and don't understand what a man experiences when testosterone starts surging through their veins and arteries.
Women produce testosterone, but not nearly as much as men. Men produce up to TEN TIMES the amount of testosterone that a woman produces.
God gave this to men in order to keep the race going. Seeing and reacting to beauty and, yes, even sensuality, is what keeps the human race alive and well on planet earth.
Here is the rub... it was intended to create and keep marriages alive and together. But it was never intended for men to use wantonly. It is a way to shake men out of their business-as-usual mode and go, "Wowser!" when they spot a potential mate. It opens the door for them to pursue and attempt to further that relationship.
However, it was never intended for men to revel in wanton lust. Once again, testosterone will kick in when viewing something men deem to be sensual. And if a man is not wary, they will find themselves addicted to a hormone that was originally intended to bring a couple together and continue to stoke that fire throughout their lives.
It was through the original fall of man that this got corrupted - that men would allow themselves to search for and seek out sensuality via inappropriate means.
Jesus' words give us a clear view on why a man should seek to control himself in this area...
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28 - NIV).
Being visually attracted to a woman is one thing. Reveling in it is another. I heard a wise man once say, "It's not wrong to have your buttons pushed. It's what you do with the signal that matters."
Let's get honest here, guys. In what way or ways do you struggle with visual lust? Are you married or unmarried? How do you deal with the problem of keeping yourself free from being corrupted by visual lust?
As always, I invite your comments below.
I mentioned at the beginning of this blog that there is a book that was popular a few years back that talked about men's issues. I also mentioned that it didn't go deep enough for me. This is where we start going deeper.
I found out a short time back that a man I know lost his wife. It was over online porn. He was addicted to it.
Since the advent of the Internet, this scenario is being played out in greater and greater abundance. It is a problem that is not going away.
This is not being written to condemn any man for getting hooked on this because it can be a powerful addiction. The reason it can be so powerful is because of the way men are wired.
Men are wired in such a way that seeing something seductive or sensual can produce the hormone, testosterone, in their systems. Women are not wired this way and don't understand what a man experiences when testosterone starts surging through their veins and arteries.
Women produce testosterone, but not nearly as much as men. Men produce up to TEN TIMES the amount of testosterone that a woman produces.
God gave this to men in order to keep the race going. Seeing and reacting to beauty and, yes, even sensuality, is what keeps the human race alive and well on planet earth.
Here is the rub... it was intended to create and keep marriages alive and together. But it was never intended for men to use wantonly. It is a way to shake men out of their business-as-usual mode and go, "Wowser!" when they spot a potential mate. It opens the door for them to pursue and attempt to further that relationship.
However, it was never intended for men to revel in wanton lust. Once again, testosterone will kick in when viewing something men deem to be sensual. And if a man is not wary, they will find themselves addicted to a hormone that was originally intended to bring a couple together and continue to stoke that fire throughout their lives.
It was through the original fall of man that this got corrupted - that men would allow themselves to search for and seek out sensuality via inappropriate means.
Jesus' words give us a clear view on why a man should seek to control himself in this area...
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28 - NIV).
Being visually attracted to a woman is one thing. Reveling in it is another. I heard a wise man once say, "It's not wrong to have your buttons pushed. It's what you do with the signal that matters."
Let's get honest here, guys. In what way or ways do you struggle with visual lust? Are you married or unmarried? How do you deal with the problem of keeping yourself free from being corrupted by visual lust?
As always, I invite your comments below.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Is Pleasure Wrong? (Part 3)
In my earlier post, I talked about how God is against fleshly or carnal pleasure, meaning that pleasure that is focused entirely on the self is wrong. But is all pleasure condemned by God?
First of all, we have to remind ourselves that God invented pleasure. He is the one who created us in a way so that we could experience enjoyments in life. The primary pleasure we should be focused on is pleasure in our relationship with our Creator.
The Westminster Catechism asks this... "What is the chief end of man?" The answer? "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever." In other words, we are to have pleasure in our relationship with God.
This is one of the first things that went out of kilter when Adam sinned. Our focus came off of God and onto ourselves. We are now self-focused, rather than GOD-focused.
Second, sin corrupted us so that we actually became enamoured with pleasing ourselves. Our motivations and passions tend to be toward what makes us happy for the moment.
Third, we tend to try to find ways to modify pleasure. What I mean is that, we are often only happy with a certain pleasure for a period of time, therefore, we try to find ways to enhance or modify it. We find ways to cause it grow toward the ultimate experience, but somehow, we are never quite able to achieve it.
In all of this, we are never able to achieve lasting pleasure.
So, the question remains, 'Is pleasure wrong'?
The thing we need to keep in focus is that God created our ability to enjoy pleasure. What we need to understand is that we need to have a relationship with God in order to know what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
Some behaviors are obviously wrong as displayed in this passage...
"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God" (Gal. 5:19-21).
Others are not so clear... "But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean" (Romans 14:14 - NIV).
Once again, in order to know and enjoy the pleasures that God has reserved for us with a clear conscience, we need to establish and enjoy a close relationship with Him every day, which is pleasure in itself.
First of all, we have to remind ourselves that God invented pleasure. He is the one who created us in a way so that we could experience enjoyments in life. The primary pleasure we should be focused on is pleasure in our relationship with our Creator.
The Westminster Catechism asks this... "What is the chief end of man?" The answer? "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever." In other words, we are to have pleasure in our relationship with God.
This is one of the first things that went out of kilter when Adam sinned. Our focus came off of God and onto ourselves. We are now self-focused, rather than GOD-focused.
Second, sin corrupted us so that we actually became enamoured with pleasing ourselves. Our motivations and passions tend to be toward what makes us happy for the moment.
Third, we tend to try to find ways to modify pleasure. What I mean is that, we are often only happy with a certain pleasure for a period of time, therefore, we try to find ways to enhance or modify it. We find ways to cause it grow toward the ultimate experience, but somehow, we are never quite able to achieve it.
In all of this, we are never able to achieve lasting pleasure.
So, the question remains, 'Is pleasure wrong'?
The thing we need to keep in focus is that God created our ability to enjoy pleasure. What we need to understand is that we need to have a relationship with God in order to know what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
Some behaviors are obviously wrong as displayed in this passage...
"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God" (Gal. 5:19-21).
Others are not so clear... "But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean" (Romans 14:14 - NIV).
Once again, in order to know and enjoy the pleasures that God has reserved for us with a clear conscience, we need to establish and enjoy a close relationship with Him every day, which is pleasure in itself.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Is Pleasure Wrong? (Part 2)
One of the words the Bible uses for the word, pleasure, is carnality. The word 'carnality' is translated from a word in the original New Testament language (Greek), which is, sarx. The word is literally translated as, the flesh.
An example of how God views the flesh is found in this passage...
"Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God" (Romans 8:1 - 7 - NIV).
This passage is not referring to our physical flesh. That would be the word, soma, or, body.
Sarx has more to do with unbridled desire and wanton passion. The 1960's had a term that described sarx very well... "If it feels good, do it."
The hard part about understanding this is, not all things that can fall under the heading of carnality are intrinsically wrong. For instance, sex inside of marriage is right, but outside of marriage, it's wrong. Eating is necessary. Overeating is not only wrong, but harmful to the body.
There are several problems with giving into the carnal or fleshly nature...
First, the more you feed it, the greedier it gets. In other words, feeding the fleshly nature with what it wants only tends to make it want more. So, if you think, "Well, I'll just appease it this time and then it'll go away," you are badly mistaken. Appeasing it only makes it want more.
Second, there is something called the law of diminishing returns. Once you start feeding a carnal passion or desire, it not only wants more, it starts saying, "This is not enough. I am bored with what you are feeding me. I want something with more taste... something with more feeling... something far more provocative!" It starts getting bored with the same old thing. It wants to go deeper into the realm of experience.
Third, it tends to divert attention away from worthwhile pursuits.
Fourth, it often damages relationships and causes hurt and pain due to the focus it gives to the self. Carnality is all about me, me me and not about others.
Finally, in the end, it leaves you unsatisfied and strips you of your real feeling. Individuals often go deeper into carnal delights, trying to enjoy the original rush of pleasure that they first experienced, only to find that it is no longer achievable.
What are some ways in which you have experienced this in your own life? Have there been any 'deadening' of passions due to pleasure seeking? Have you ever experienced a broken or hurt relationship due to focusing on carnality? What type of pleasures do you feel are appropriate as a Christian?
As always, please feel free to leave a comment.
An example of how God views the flesh is found in this passage...
"Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God" (Romans 8:1 - 7 - NIV).
This passage is not referring to our physical flesh. That would be the word, soma, or, body.
Sarx has more to do with unbridled desire and wanton passion. The 1960's had a term that described sarx very well... "If it feels good, do it."
The hard part about understanding this is, not all things that can fall under the heading of carnality are intrinsically wrong. For instance, sex inside of marriage is right, but outside of marriage, it's wrong. Eating is necessary. Overeating is not only wrong, but harmful to the body.
There are several problems with giving into the carnal or fleshly nature...
First, the more you feed it, the greedier it gets. In other words, feeding the fleshly nature with what it wants only tends to make it want more. So, if you think, "Well, I'll just appease it this time and then it'll go away," you are badly mistaken. Appeasing it only makes it want more.
Second, there is something called the law of diminishing returns. Once you start feeding a carnal passion or desire, it not only wants more, it starts saying, "This is not enough. I am bored with what you are feeding me. I want something with more taste... something with more feeling... something far more provocative!" It starts getting bored with the same old thing. It wants to go deeper into the realm of experience.
Third, it tends to divert attention away from worthwhile pursuits.
Fourth, it often damages relationships and causes hurt and pain due to the focus it gives to the self. Carnality is all about me, me me and not about others.
Finally, in the end, it leaves you unsatisfied and strips you of your real feeling. Individuals often go deeper into carnal delights, trying to enjoy the original rush of pleasure that they first experienced, only to find that it is no longer achievable.
What are some ways in which you have experienced this in your own life? Have there been any 'deadening' of passions due to pleasure seeking? Have you ever experienced a broken or hurt relationship due to focusing on carnality? What type of pleasures do you feel are appropriate as a Christian?
As always, please feel free to leave a comment.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Is Pleasure Wrong?
Guys, what drives you? What causes you to climb out of bed and face the world in the morning?
What I am talking about is your motivation.
We are all motivated by something. Something turns our crank and causes us to desire some type of activity, achievement, purpose or progress in life. What is it for you?
One of the motivations the Bible speaks of as inappropriate is the pursuit of pleasure...
"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures" (James 4:1-3).
That's a hard-hitting passage, but one worthy of attention.
Modern research tells us that the pursuit of pleasure is what drives most people's decisions these days. There is actually a pleasure-inducing chemical in the brain called 'dopamine' that 'rewards' us with pleasurable feelings for choosing certain stimuli such as, where to go on a vacation, what foods to eat - even the intake of alcohol or narcotics.
How do you feel about that? Is it wrong to feel pleasure?
God is not against pleasure. However, He is against selfish or harmful pleasure.
In the verses cited above, the word for pleasure, in the original language of the New Testament, is hedone (HEE-do-nay), the word we get our word, hedonism from.
Hedonism was actually an ancient philosophy that argued that the only intrinsic worth in life is the pursuit of pleasure. If an activity did not produce pleasure, it was not worthy of a Hedonist's time or energy.
While our culture may not engage in the actual philosophy of Hedonism, it is certainly very Hedonistic. Drug and alcohol addiction is rampant - pornography and sex addiction as well. Overeating and food addictions are also prevalent.
Is this a cultural problem, or are people just acting out of what the Bible calls, our fallen nature?
I believe the overall tendency of fallen man is to be Hedonistic - to act out of what makes us feel good, whether that behavior is public or private.
Some men seem to have it all together on the outside, but in their private thoughts and activities, they are pleasure-oriented.
What are your thoughts on this? How do you see yourself with regard to how much you are driven by pleasure in your life?
As always, I welcome your thoughts below.
What I am talking about is your motivation.
We are all motivated by something. Something turns our crank and causes us to desire some type of activity, achievement, purpose or progress in life. What is it for you?
One of the motivations the Bible speaks of as inappropriate is the pursuit of pleasure...
"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures" (James 4:1-3).
That's a hard-hitting passage, but one worthy of attention.
Modern research tells us that the pursuit of pleasure is what drives most people's decisions these days. There is actually a pleasure-inducing chemical in the brain called 'dopamine' that 'rewards' us with pleasurable feelings for choosing certain stimuli such as, where to go on a vacation, what foods to eat - even the intake of alcohol or narcotics.
How do you feel about that? Is it wrong to feel pleasure?
God is not against pleasure. However, He is against selfish or harmful pleasure.
In the verses cited above, the word for pleasure, in the original language of the New Testament, is hedone (HEE-do-nay), the word we get our word, hedonism from.
Hedonism was actually an ancient philosophy that argued that the only intrinsic worth in life is the pursuit of pleasure. If an activity did not produce pleasure, it was not worthy of a Hedonist's time or energy.
While our culture may not engage in the actual philosophy of Hedonism, it is certainly very Hedonistic. Drug and alcohol addiction is rampant - pornography and sex addiction as well. Overeating and food addictions are also prevalent.
Is this a cultural problem, or are people just acting out of what the Bible calls, our fallen nature?
I believe the overall tendency of fallen man is to be Hedonistic - to act out of what makes us feel good, whether that behavior is public or private.
Some men seem to have it all together on the outside, but in their private thoughts and activities, they are pleasure-oriented.
What are your thoughts on this? How do you see yourself with regard to how much you are driven by pleasure in your life?
As always, I welcome your thoughts below.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Glory Days
I was athletic in my youth, but I wasn't really an athlete. I wasn't really that competitive or aggressive, so I had a hard time developing that 'winning' attitude.
But one day, it was different.
It was in eighth grade. And us guys were all lined up in two rows for wind sprints. The idea was that two guys would race each other down to the P.E. teacher and then, another two would race, and so on.
It came to be my turn. The guy opposite me was one of the fastest guys in the school. I won't mention any names, but his initials were K.B.
At first, K.B. was ahead of me. But I poured on the steam and caught up with him. He was surprised and poured it on as well. I caught up with him again. There we were, running neck and neck all the way down the field... both of us giving it everything we had, determined to beat the other one. Try as I might, I could not quite jet ahead of K.B., but then, he couldn't get the edge on me either.
We came in at a dead tie, heaving our lungs out.
I still remember that incident like it was yesterday.
A guy walked up to me afterwards...
"You stayed right with K.B.!" he marveled.
"Aw, he was just being nice," I replied.
"Are you kidding?" he shot back at me. "He was in front of his friends and there wasn't any way he was going to be 'nice' in front of them."
That made me feel real good. So good, in fact, I still remember every detail of the experience 41 years later!
It kind of reminds me of the Bruce Springsteen song, "Glory Days," talking about the people he knew who were stuck in the past, reliving their high school victories over and over.
That really is how many of us guys are... remembering the 'good old days.' Reliving the former days ad nauseum.
Why do we do that? Do we feel that our best days are behind? Are we threatened by the future? Are we unhappy? What is really going on inside of us when we do this?
A Bible verse that shocks me back to reality when I dwell too much on silly memories like this is Isaiah 43:18 and 19.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!”
This is God speaking.
Is it wrong to remember the past fondly? No, not really. As long as it does not cloud what's happening in the present, or where we're headed in our future.
For most of us, our best days are not behind us. They are in front of us - with God's guidance and help.
What are some goals or plans that the Lord would have you build into your understanding today?
As always, I welcome your comments.
But one day, it was different.
It was in eighth grade. And us guys were all lined up in two rows for wind sprints. The idea was that two guys would race each other down to the P.E. teacher and then, another two would race, and so on.
It came to be my turn. The guy opposite me was one of the fastest guys in the school. I won't mention any names, but his initials were K.B.
At first, K.B. was ahead of me. But I poured on the steam and caught up with him. He was surprised and poured it on as well. I caught up with him again. There we were, running neck and neck all the way down the field... both of us giving it everything we had, determined to beat the other one. Try as I might, I could not quite jet ahead of K.B., but then, he couldn't get the edge on me either.
We came in at a dead tie, heaving our lungs out.
I still remember that incident like it was yesterday.
A guy walked up to me afterwards...
"You stayed right with K.B.!" he marveled.
"Aw, he was just being nice," I replied.
"Are you kidding?" he shot back at me. "He was in front of his friends and there wasn't any way he was going to be 'nice' in front of them."
That made me feel real good. So good, in fact, I still remember every detail of the experience 41 years later!
It kind of reminds me of the Bruce Springsteen song, "Glory Days," talking about the people he knew who were stuck in the past, reliving their high school victories over and over.
That really is how many of us guys are... remembering the 'good old days.' Reliving the former days ad nauseum.
Why do we do that? Do we feel that our best days are behind? Are we threatened by the future? Are we unhappy? What is really going on inside of us when we do this?
A Bible verse that shocks me back to reality when I dwell too much on silly memories like this is Isaiah 43:18 and 19.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!”
This is God speaking.
Is it wrong to remember the past fondly? No, not really. As long as it does not cloud what's happening in the present, or where we're headed in our future.
For most of us, our best days are not behind us. They are in front of us - with God's guidance and help.
What are some goals or plans that the Lord would have you build into your understanding today?
As always, I welcome your comments.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Weeping in Westminster
I was sobbing like a school girl.
Rewind approximately 30 minutes.
"Well, we're right here. We might as well start with Westminster Abbey," my family said. I could see the Westminster Chimes towering above us only a short distance away.
"Westminster Abbey?" I thought to myself. "Why do we want to spend the next few hours walking around some old church when the Westminster Chimes and all of London is waiting for us?"
Knowing I was outvoted, I grudgingly paid for the tickets to trudge around a church for the next few hours.
"Tickets... to go into a church?" I muttered to myself. "And you can't even take pictures in it!"
As I stepped through the door, I was seized by the same awesome wonderment that Lucy must have felt when she walked into the wardrobe and found herself in the Land of Narnia.
The first thing I noticed were beautiful marble statues all around me and an austerity I have never sensed in my entire life. All around were tombs and crypts of some of the most famous people in history - Henry the Eighth - Catherine the Great - David Livingston - William Wilberforce...
Quiet, somber reflection was evident among the people who had entered the Abbey with me.
Stepping into a large chamber, I glanced up and was awestruck as I noticed the tomb of George Fredrick Handel, with the words, "For I know that my Redeemer liveth," from Job 19:25 adorning it.
I had just completed writing a number of Christian songs earlier in the year, and in that moment, was suddenly in the presence of the remains of the man who wrote the Queen Mother of all worship tunes... "The Hallelujah Chorus."
I cry, maybe, once every two years. And I'm usually alone when I do it.
But this day, the tears began to flow. I couldn't stop them. It was embarrassing. I tried to hide my sobbing, wiping the tears with my hands. But they just kept flowing. And then my family noticed them.
"Dad, there's a little chapel back there where you can go and pray," my oldest daughter said.
"Thank you!" I whispered as I ran for the door, blubbering like a fool. Fortunately, the little chapel was empty. I closed the door and sat down, praying and thanking God for allowing me to be on this trip and to be able to give homage to such a great composer. I sat for at least 20 minutes, pouring out a plethora of pent-up emotion. It was an experience that etched God's love and care deep into my soul.
I later learned that Handel, who had cloistered himself in his room during the writing of "The Messiah", was sobbing just like I had been after he finished the "Hallelujah Chorus." A concerned friend had forced his way into his chamber, only to hear him say, "I do believe I have seen all of heaven before me... and the great God Himself."
I said all that to say this - why is it embarrassing for men to cry? Why do we keep our emotions buried so deep within our souls?
Yes, there are men who can cry freely, but they are the exception. Not the rule.
The shortest, and probably most poignant verse in the Bible is composed of two simple words... "Jesus wept." (John 11:35).
One of the most powerful but subtle scenes in the movie, "The Passion of the Christ," is when Christ dies on the cross... and the scene shifts to directly above the cross. Rain drops are falling. And suddenly, the camera starts to blur... and a drop forms and falls directly onto the cross. I pondered this while watching it, and realized that we were suddenly looking from God's perspective at what had just happened - and a tear formed in his eye and was shed.
So, do you cry? And what makes you cry? Is it easy for you to express your emotions? If not, why?
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Rewind approximately 30 minutes.
"Well, we're right here. We might as well start with Westminster Abbey," my family said. I could see the Westminster Chimes towering above us only a short distance away.
"Westminster Abbey?" I thought to myself. "Why do we want to spend the next few hours walking around some old church when the Westminster Chimes and all of London is waiting for us?"
Knowing I was outvoted, I grudgingly paid for the tickets to trudge around a church for the next few hours.
"Tickets... to go into a church?" I muttered to myself. "And you can't even take pictures in it!"
As I stepped through the door, I was seized by the same awesome wonderment that Lucy must have felt when she walked into the wardrobe and found herself in the Land of Narnia.
The first thing I noticed were beautiful marble statues all around me and an austerity I have never sensed in my entire life. All around were tombs and crypts of some of the most famous people in history - Henry the Eighth - Catherine the Great - David Livingston - William Wilberforce...
Quiet, somber reflection was evident among the people who had entered the Abbey with me.
Stepping into a large chamber, I glanced up and was awestruck as I noticed the tomb of George Fredrick Handel, with the words, "For I know that my Redeemer liveth," from Job 19:25 adorning it.
I had just completed writing a number of Christian songs earlier in the year, and in that moment, was suddenly in the presence of the remains of the man who wrote the Queen Mother of all worship tunes... "The Hallelujah Chorus."
I cry, maybe, once every two years. And I'm usually alone when I do it.
But this day, the tears began to flow. I couldn't stop them. It was embarrassing. I tried to hide my sobbing, wiping the tears with my hands. But they just kept flowing. And then my family noticed them.
"Dad, there's a little chapel back there where you can go and pray," my oldest daughter said.
"Thank you!" I whispered as I ran for the door, blubbering like a fool. Fortunately, the little chapel was empty. I closed the door and sat down, praying and thanking God for allowing me to be on this trip and to be able to give homage to such a great composer. I sat for at least 20 minutes, pouring out a plethora of pent-up emotion. It was an experience that etched God's love and care deep into my soul.
I later learned that Handel, who had cloistered himself in his room during the writing of "The Messiah", was sobbing just like I had been after he finished the "Hallelujah Chorus." A concerned friend had forced his way into his chamber, only to hear him say, "I do believe I have seen all of heaven before me... and the great God Himself."
I said all that to say this - why is it embarrassing for men to cry? Why do we keep our emotions buried so deep within our souls?
Yes, there are men who can cry freely, but they are the exception. Not the rule.
The shortest, and probably most poignant verse in the Bible is composed of two simple words... "Jesus wept." (John 11:35).
One of the most powerful but subtle scenes in the movie, "The Passion of the Christ," is when Christ dies on the cross... and the scene shifts to directly above the cross. Rain drops are falling. And suddenly, the camera starts to blur... and a drop forms and falls directly onto the cross. I pondered this while watching it, and realized that we were suddenly looking from God's perspective at what had just happened - and a tear formed in his eye and was shed.
So, do you cry? And what makes you cry? Is it easy for you to express your emotions? If not, why?
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Pugilistic Power in Prayer
"Bam!" "Pow!" "Kazowie!" Those were the words I saw on the t.v. screen whenever Batman and Robin would get into a scuffle with the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, and each of their henchmen... twice a week... "same Bat-time, same Bat-channel."
I loved superheroes when I was a kid! I watched "The Green Hornet" and even a really corny show called, "Captain Nice." If they had a mask or a cape, I was right there!
(By the way... the word on the street is that there is a president of a major Christian humanitarian organization who loves comic books - but we'll keep his name on the Q.T. for now.)
During this time (5th grade), we had a game we played on the field during recess. It consisted of dividing up into 2 teams clashing on the field and wrestling all over the ground with our opponents. Basically, it was a free-for-all wrestling match. WWF on the playground!
We would come in from recess with our shirts all grass-stained and sweaty and our hair completely disheveled. But we were happy as clams because we'd gotten all that adrenalin out of our systems and had done what boys our age liked to do.
Every once in awhile, there would be an after school fight (I was in way too many of these) where a couple guys would actually resort to fisticuffs - just like on the superhero shows we all loved to watch.
If there are any ladies reading this, you really ought to try it sometime, because us guys would be having problems with each other... but once we finished the fight, we'd walk away friends. It's so much easier than having all those angst-ridden relationships that you have among yourselves.
But, back to the subject at hand. Guys, you were born that way! And I don't care if you were a bookworm growing up... you were probably reading stories about wars and battles and conquering heroes.
Men, we were made to war. In fact, the Bible says that GOD is a warrior (Exodus 15:3)! And since we're created in His image, we're warriors too!
The only problem is, it wouldn't be apropos for grown men to be running around on a field wrestling with one another. (Actually, that sounds kind of fun, now that I think about it!)
So, how do YOU fulfill your destiny as a warrior?
Do you go and hang out downtown dressed in a costume, like Seattle's Phoenix Jones?
This is the way I have found that we are to walk out the warrior spirit God has placed in every one of us...
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12 - ESV).
Spiritually, every day, men... before we head out the door, we need to do what Paul recommends in Ephesians, chapter 6 -
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people" (Ephesians 6:14-18 - NIV).
So, go have some fun right now... get down on your knees... and totally mess up the Devil's battle plans against your life and the lives of those around you. "POW!" "BAM!" "ZOK!"
Feel free to add a comment to this post.
I loved superheroes when I was a kid! I watched "The Green Hornet" and even a really corny show called, "Captain Nice." If they had a mask or a cape, I was right there!
(By the way... the word on the street is that there is a president of a major Christian humanitarian organization who loves comic books - but we'll keep his name on the Q.T. for now.)
During this time (5th grade), we had a game we played on the field during recess. It consisted of dividing up into 2 teams clashing on the field and wrestling all over the ground with our opponents. Basically, it was a free-for-all wrestling match. WWF on the playground!
We would come in from recess with our shirts all grass-stained and sweaty and our hair completely disheveled. But we were happy as clams because we'd gotten all that adrenalin out of our systems and had done what boys our age liked to do.
Every once in awhile, there would be an after school fight (I was in way too many of these) where a couple guys would actually resort to fisticuffs - just like on the superhero shows we all loved to watch.
If there are any ladies reading this, you really ought to try it sometime, because us guys would be having problems with each other... but once we finished the fight, we'd walk away friends. It's so much easier than having all those angst-ridden relationships that you have among yourselves.
But, back to the subject at hand. Guys, you were born that way! And I don't care if you were a bookworm growing up... you were probably reading stories about wars and battles and conquering heroes.
Men, we were made to war. In fact, the Bible says that GOD is a warrior (Exodus 15:3)! And since we're created in His image, we're warriors too!
The only problem is, it wouldn't be apropos for grown men to be running around on a field wrestling with one another. (Actually, that sounds kind of fun, now that I think about it!)
So, how do YOU fulfill your destiny as a warrior?
Do you go and hang out downtown dressed in a costume, like Seattle's Phoenix Jones?
This is the way I have found that we are to walk out the warrior spirit God has placed in every one of us...
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12 - ESV).
Spiritually, every day, men... before we head out the door, we need to do what Paul recommends in Ephesians, chapter 6 -
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people" (Ephesians 6:14-18 - NIV).
So, go have some fun right now... get down on your knees... and totally mess up the Devil's battle plans against your life and the lives of those around you. "POW!" "BAM!" "ZOK!"
Feel free to add a comment to this post.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 5
So, if you're a Christian, how close are you to God?
From the little I've studied about Freud, he believed we develop our impression of God from our fathers. To some degree, I believe this. I think there's some credence to the idea that male figures in our lives make an impression on us about who God is.
Was your father strong, loving and wise? If what I said above is true, you are very fortunate. Was he wimpy and whiny? Or was he domineering and overbearing? Abusive? Withdrawing? Fearful? Namby-pamby? So-so? Jealous? Funny? Ridiculous? Brawny? Jovial? Brash? Devil-may-care? Brave? Silly? Angry? Gentle? Creative? Artistic? Handy? Practical? Quiet? Loud?
Whatever impression we have of our earthly dads, we need to be careful not to limit our understanding of God to either their strengths or weaknesses.
As much as we might admire our earthly fathers, God is greater still! As much as we might fear or loathe their behavior, God is perfect and not given to earthly faults or flaws.
Some men are fearful of God. Others are unimpressed. Still others are in awe.
How many of you know that there are feminine images of God in the Bible as well? The Bible describes God as 'laboring in childbirth,' and 'brooding as a mother hen over her chicks.' How do you feel about that? Is it awkward or does it comfort you to know that God describes Himself with those qualities?
What are your thoughts about God? I'd love to hear what you have to say... even from the ladies who visit here.
Please feel free to share your thoughts below.
From the little I've studied about Freud, he believed we develop our impression of God from our fathers. To some degree, I believe this. I think there's some credence to the idea that male figures in our lives make an impression on us about who God is.
Was your father strong, loving and wise? If what I said above is true, you are very fortunate. Was he wimpy and whiny? Or was he domineering and overbearing? Abusive? Withdrawing? Fearful? Namby-pamby? So-so? Jealous? Funny? Ridiculous? Brawny? Jovial? Brash? Devil-may-care? Brave? Silly? Angry? Gentle? Creative? Artistic? Handy? Practical? Quiet? Loud?
Whatever impression we have of our earthly dads, we need to be careful not to limit our understanding of God to either their strengths or weaknesses.
As much as we might admire our earthly fathers, God is greater still! As much as we might fear or loathe their behavior, God is perfect and not given to earthly faults or flaws.
Some men are fearful of God. Others are unimpressed. Still others are in awe.
How many of you know that there are feminine images of God in the Bible as well? The Bible describes God as 'laboring in childbirth,' and 'brooding as a mother hen over her chicks.' How do you feel about that? Is it awkward or does it comfort you to know that God describes Himself with those qualities?
What are your thoughts about God? I'd love to hear what you have to say... even from the ladies who visit here.
Please feel free to share your thoughts below.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 4
"You're JUST like your father!" How many of you guys have ever heard that proclaimed over you?
It's not always a bad thing. Some guys would love to be just like their fathers. I'm afraid however, that this decree is usually offered as a pejorative.
What I'm concerned with today is sinful traits of fathers. Many men believe in what some call 'generational sin' - the idea that if a father is involved in some kind of sinful practice or addiction, their son (or daughter) will probably practice that same sin.
The passage that most will cite to prove this is Exodus 20:5 - "For I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation of those that hate me, and showing mercy to thousands of those that love Me and keep My commandments."
The first thing I want to mention is that all of this is couched in the Old Testament. Since Jesus, the entire play book has changed.
But just to cut to the chase here, what this verse is really saying is exactly what it DOES say... that if a father sins, God will punish the children for their sins three and four generations down the line. It doesn't say the children will inherit their father's sinful tendencies. It says they will be punished for what their fathers did that was wrong in the sight of God.
So, it's a warning to fathers to think about what they do, because their children, their children and even their children's children could be punished for their sinful behavior.
That's a sobering thought.
But here's the good news! God rescinded that decree later in the book of Ezekiel - "The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:20).
So, where does that leave us with the idea that if your father sins, you'll probably be the same way? Well, we all have tendencies to be like our parents in certain ways. Like, a sibling will say, "You said that just like Dad," or, "Dad used to get that same expression on his face."
And it's true that certain tendencies can be genetic and a person will need to be careful about certain behaviors. But overall, there is nothing in scripture that says, if your dad sinned a certain way, you will too!
"Well, Dad had an affair, so I guess that explains why I had one too." "Dad was a drunk, so I guess that explains why I am too."
On and on the excuses go. But bottom line, our behavior is our own. And each of us will have to answer for it as individuals.
Today, my prayer is that everyone reading this will realize that they don't have to follow any of the poor behavior their father may have engaged in. Each of us has the power through God's grace to resist any weakness we may have in our character.
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (I Corinthians 10:13 - NIV).
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
It's not always a bad thing. Some guys would love to be just like their fathers. I'm afraid however, that this decree is usually offered as a pejorative.
What I'm concerned with today is sinful traits of fathers. Many men believe in what some call 'generational sin' - the idea that if a father is involved in some kind of sinful practice or addiction, their son (or daughter) will probably practice that same sin.
The passage that most will cite to prove this is Exodus 20:5 - "For I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation of those that hate me, and showing mercy to thousands of those that love Me and keep My commandments."
The first thing I want to mention is that all of this is couched in the Old Testament. Since Jesus, the entire play book has changed.
But just to cut to the chase here, what this verse is really saying is exactly what it DOES say... that if a father sins, God will punish the children for their sins three and four generations down the line. It doesn't say the children will inherit their father's sinful tendencies. It says they will be punished for what their fathers did that was wrong in the sight of God.
So, it's a warning to fathers to think about what they do, because their children, their children and even their children's children could be punished for their sinful behavior.
That's a sobering thought.
But here's the good news! God rescinded that decree later in the book of Ezekiel - "The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:20).
So, where does that leave us with the idea that if your father sins, you'll probably be the same way? Well, we all have tendencies to be like our parents in certain ways. Like, a sibling will say, "You said that just like Dad," or, "Dad used to get that same expression on his face."
And it's true that certain tendencies can be genetic and a person will need to be careful about certain behaviors. But overall, there is nothing in scripture that says, if your dad sinned a certain way, you will too!
"Well, Dad had an affair, so I guess that explains why I had one too." "Dad was a drunk, so I guess that explains why I am too."
On and on the excuses go. But bottom line, our behavior is our own. And each of us will have to answer for it as individuals.
Today, my prayer is that everyone reading this will realize that they don't have to follow any of the poor behavior their father may have engaged in. Each of us has the power through God's grace to resist any weakness we may have in our character.
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (I Corinthians 10:13 - NIV).
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 3
One of the most piercing moments in cinema history came when Luke Skywalker heard these words... "Luke, I am your father."
Fortunately, most of us have never had to deal with a realization of this magnitude - suddenly discovering that your father is one of the most cunning and ruthless individuals in the galaxy! The amazing thing is, Luke decided to love his sinister dad and the outcome was the salvation of the known universe.
Hopefully, your father was a saint - and a knight in shining armor. If not, these words may help you.
As I said before, I loved my dad - and in many ways, he was a knight. But I was cautious around him due to the issues I've previously mentioned.
During the Eighties, I went through the whole 'adult child grieving your losses' thing, which I seem to be making light of here, but in actuality, found some help in that process. The main thing I was dealing with is that I felt stuck in my life and didn't really feel 'grown up' even though I was in my late thirties.
One of the things that caused me to feel stuck was that I felt like I had to be pleased with my dad regardless of any of the hurt I felt.
Many people feel it's wrong to label their father's behavior as wrong or abusive. And they get stuck in their pain. This verse may be the source of why many feel they should respect their father, regardless:
"Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!" (Hebrews 12:9).
The key to understanding this passage is, we should respect our fathers when they practice true discipline. However, I don't think we're held accountable to respect them for things like ridicule or abuse. Discipline and abuse are two completely different behaviors.
What we as men need to realize is that we need to grieve the losses that we experienced with our fathers, but cherish the memories of the good times. Mostly what I have now are good memories - through forgiveness.
Good things I remember with my father are these... camping at Lofton Reservoir and catching lots of Rainbows - seeing movies like "A Fistful of Dollars" with him on a Sunday afternoon - climbing Stukel Mountain in search of the wily Mule Deer - lunches at the mill we worked at together when I had a summer job there - shooting pool together at the bowling alley - ice fishing at Lake of the Woods - ice skating at the pond at the end of Bristol Avenue - exploring dry creek beds near his old home place in South Dakota - Shooting Geese and Pheasants at State Line Road.
Don't lie to yourself about the bad times. Learn how to grieve and mourn them. In other words, get them out of your system. Forgive and be forgiven (please know... this may be a process). And most of all, cherish the good memories... and don't let anything take them away from you.
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Fortunately, most of us have never had to deal with a realization of this magnitude - suddenly discovering that your father is one of the most cunning and ruthless individuals in the galaxy! The amazing thing is, Luke decided to love his sinister dad and the outcome was the salvation of the known universe.
Hopefully, your father was a saint - and a knight in shining armor. If not, these words may help you.
As I said before, I loved my dad - and in many ways, he was a knight. But I was cautious around him due to the issues I've previously mentioned.
During the Eighties, I went through the whole 'adult child grieving your losses' thing, which I seem to be making light of here, but in actuality, found some help in that process. The main thing I was dealing with is that I felt stuck in my life and didn't really feel 'grown up' even though I was in my late thirties.
One of the things that caused me to feel stuck was that I felt like I had to be pleased with my dad regardless of any of the hurt I felt.
Many people feel it's wrong to label their father's behavior as wrong or abusive. And they get stuck in their pain. This verse may be the source of why many feel they should respect their father, regardless:
"Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!" (Hebrews 12:9).
The key to understanding this passage is, we should respect our fathers when they practice true discipline. However, I don't think we're held accountable to respect them for things like ridicule or abuse. Discipline and abuse are two completely different behaviors.
What we as men need to realize is that we need to grieve the losses that we experienced with our fathers, but cherish the memories of the good times. Mostly what I have now are good memories - through forgiveness.
Good things I remember with my father are these... camping at Lofton Reservoir and catching lots of Rainbows - seeing movies like "A Fistful of Dollars" with him on a Sunday afternoon - climbing Stukel Mountain in search of the wily Mule Deer - lunches at the mill we worked at together when I had a summer job there - shooting pool together at the bowling alley - ice fishing at Lake of the Woods - ice skating at the pond at the end of Bristol Avenue - exploring dry creek beds near his old home place in South Dakota - Shooting Geese and Pheasants at State Line Road.
Don't lie to yourself about the bad times. Learn how to grieve and mourn them. In other words, get them out of your system. Forgive and be forgiven (please know... this may be a process). And most of all, cherish the good memories... and don't let anything take them away from you.
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 2
Previously, I talked about how I was able to forgive my father when I learned he'd had Alzheimer's for a number of years. This accounted for many of the clashes we'd had over time.
What I haven't discussed is that the problems in our relationship were not a one-way street... all his fault, in other words.
I could be pretty insolent. And I don't think I need to go into detail on any of that. Just chalk it up that I needed to be forgiven by HIM on many occasions as well.
What I want to emphasize in this post is that, learning of my father's Alzheimer's made it easy for me to forgive him fully. I suddenly realized how scared he must have been at times, not understanding what was happening to his mind and emotions as this disease slowly advanced.
But that did not take me off the hook in forgiving him regularly WITHOUT that knowlege. And I DID practice forgiveness toward him. But perhaps, not as often or as fully I should have.
I believe the primary thing that needs to happen in fathers turning their hearts toward their children and children turning their hearts toward their fathers (as stated in Malachi 4:6 and mentioned in my previous post), is LOADS of forgiveness and understanding. Living in a family is not easy. It takes ENORMOUS amounts of grace to get along.
A significant passage regarding this is Ephesians 6:1 - 4. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother', for this is the first commandment with promise - so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (NIV)
It's understandable that scripture would admonish children to obey their parents, but it's the second part that frightens me... the idea that fathers would provoke their children to anger. Another translation says, "Fathers, don't make your children bitter about life..." (God's Word Translation).
In these days of widespread substance abuse, I'm hearing horrific stories of men who, with deliberation, strip their children of any sense of self-worth they might have. Ridicule, anger, accusation, belittlement, lies. Many children are growing up with little self-confidence and support.
If this is the environment you grew up in, or an environment you're fostering, there is healing. It may be a process, but there is hope. Jesus told us in Luke 1:37, "...with God, nothing shall be impossible." (KJV)
Feel free to comment below.
What I haven't discussed is that the problems in our relationship were not a one-way street... all his fault, in other words.
I could be pretty insolent. And I don't think I need to go into detail on any of that. Just chalk it up that I needed to be forgiven by HIM on many occasions as well.
What I want to emphasize in this post is that, learning of my father's Alzheimer's made it easy for me to forgive him fully. I suddenly realized how scared he must have been at times, not understanding what was happening to his mind and emotions as this disease slowly advanced.
But that did not take me off the hook in forgiving him regularly WITHOUT that knowlege. And I DID practice forgiveness toward him. But perhaps, not as often or as fully I should have.
I believe the primary thing that needs to happen in fathers turning their hearts toward their children and children turning their hearts toward their fathers (as stated in Malachi 4:6 and mentioned in my previous post), is LOADS of forgiveness and understanding. Living in a family is not easy. It takes ENORMOUS amounts of grace to get along.
A significant passage regarding this is Ephesians 6:1 - 4. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother', for this is the first commandment with promise - so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (NIV)
It's understandable that scripture would admonish children to obey their parents, but it's the second part that frightens me... the idea that fathers would provoke their children to anger. Another translation says, "Fathers, don't make your children bitter about life..." (God's Word Translation).
In these days of widespread substance abuse, I'm hearing horrific stories of men who, with deliberation, strip their children of any sense of self-worth they might have. Ridicule, anger, accusation, belittlement, lies. Many children are growing up with little self-confidence and support.
If this is the environment you grew up in, or an environment you're fostering, there is healing. It may be a process, but there is hope. Jesus told us in Luke 1:37, "...with God, nothing shall be impossible." (KJV)
Feel free to comment below.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Oh, My Papa - Part 1
Malachi 4:5 and 6 are two very curious and fascinating verses of scripture. They're the last two verses of the Protestant Old Testament.
"See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts os the children to their fathers, or else I will come and strike the land with a curse." (NIV)
I don't want to get too far into the 'eschatological ramifications' (how's THAT for some theological-ese?) of this verse. What I really want to focus on here is the fact that it seems like it's important to God that fathers and sons get along.
You may have had, or continue to have, a very close and wonderful relationship with your father. You may even see him as a hero, a pal, a best friend or a mentor.
Many men, however, don't. And much of the difficulty that men have these day stems from the fact that they've struggled, or continue to struggle DEEPLY in their relationship with their fathers.
Even though I loved my father, I struggled a great deal in my relationship with him.
In reality, he was quite a remarkable fellow. He was born in 1917 and had grown up on a homestead farm in South Dakota. He hung out with the Sioux and attended their Pow-Wows even though he was not Native American. He lived through the depression. He served in the Army during WWII (although he never saw combat). He worked hard all his life in the lumber industry.
When I hit my teens, somehow our relationship became somewhat antagonistic. I just chalked a lot of it up to the usual clashes that come when kids enter 'teen-dom.' There were certain areas where Dad and I jived really well, but then there were areas where we constantly came to loggerheads.
Flash forward - Resolution for my conflict came when Dad went into a nursing home and the doctor he'd been avoiding for many years came back into his life (long unnecessary story). Among several things the doctor told us about Dad was that he'd most likely had Alzheimer's for a number of years.
Upon hearing this, all of the angst I'd ever had toward my father disapeared. My struggles with him suddenly made sense. I had read a little about Alzheimer's and knew that it isn't just about forgetfulness. Among the many symptoms, one is inordinate bouts of anger accompanied by wild mood swings.
I had been the target of many of those mood swings, often when no one else was around to witness them. Hearing this information from the doctor allowed me to instantly forgive my father and make peace in my heart with him.
I will continue to discuss this topic of relationships between fathers and sons in further posts. Please feel free to comment on this post.
"See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts os the children to their fathers, or else I will come and strike the land with a curse." (NIV)
I don't want to get too far into the 'eschatological ramifications' (how's THAT for some theological-ese?) of this verse. What I really want to focus on here is the fact that it seems like it's important to God that fathers and sons get along.
You may have had, or continue to have, a very close and wonderful relationship with your father. You may even see him as a hero, a pal, a best friend or a mentor.
Many men, however, don't. And much of the difficulty that men have these day stems from the fact that they've struggled, or continue to struggle DEEPLY in their relationship with their fathers.
Even though I loved my father, I struggled a great deal in my relationship with him.
In reality, he was quite a remarkable fellow. He was born in 1917 and had grown up on a homestead farm in South Dakota. He hung out with the Sioux and attended their Pow-Wows even though he was not Native American. He lived through the depression. He served in the Army during WWII (although he never saw combat). He worked hard all his life in the lumber industry.
When I hit my teens, somehow our relationship became somewhat antagonistic. I just chalked a lot of it up to the usual clashes that come when kids enter 'teen-dom.' There were certain areas where Dad and I jived really well, but then there were areas where we constantly came to loggerheads.
Flash forward - Resolution for my conflict came when Dad went into a nursing home and the doctor he'd been avoiding for many years came back into his life (long unnecessary story). Among several things the doctor told us about Dad was that he'd most likely had Alzheimer's for a number of years.
Upon hearing this, all of the angst I'd ever had toward my father disapeared. My struggles with him suddenly made sense. I had read a little about Alzheimer's and knew that it isn't just about forgetfulness. Among the many symptoms, one is inordinate bouts of anger accompanied by wild mood swings.
I had been the target of many of those mood swings, often when no one else was around to witness them. Hearing this information from the doctor allowed me to instantly forgive my father and make peace in my heart with him.
I will continue to discuss this topic of relationships between fathers and sons in further posts. Please feel free to comment on this post.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Possum Lodge Progress
Let's hear it, guys... all together... The Man's Prayer! You all know it if you've ever seen "The Red Green Show." "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."
My previous post was about worth and value and where we derive it from. My answer was, THE place to start is, God values us... enough to send His precious Son to die for us.
You might be a person of great faith, or you may be someone who has never darkened the door of a church in your life. It makes no difference. We have all felt the pangs of the Possum Lodge Brothers agreeing that being a man is, in and of itself, a poor enough condition to feel bad about.
Why is that? Why do so many of us feel so miserable about ourselves?
For many of us, sadly, it's because we really have failed someone or even many people in our lives. We've let someone very close to us down. Our wife. Our son. Our daughter. Our parents. A girlfiend. A close friend.
In other ways, we may feel like we've never achieved what we set out to achieve. In still other ways, we may not deserve the guilt we feel at all, but feel it because we were raised (unfairly) to consider ourselves less than worthy of anyone's admiration or concern.
Whatever the reason, this is not a condition we need to remain in. There is a remedy for this painful state.
Gideon, a man in the Old Testament book of Judges was a man who most certainly didn't see himself as anyone great or powerful during a time of opression by a foreign enemy. He was confronted by an angel from God one day who said, "The Lord is with you, Mighty Warrior" (Judges 6:12).
Can you imagine how Gideon felt, hiding in a winepress, threshing grain because he was afraid his enemy would show up and steal the food he was trying to provide for his family?
Long story short... Gideon went from this sorrowful state to lead the army of Israel in routing their oppressors. He lived out the words of the angel who spoke of how God saw him.
However you see yourself today, please realize that God has the ability to see strengths in us that we could never see. Oh, that we would all be able to stand together someday and say the Lion's Lodge Pledge together... "I'm a man. I am made in God's image. I am a Victor! And I am SURE of it!"
My previous post was about worth and value and where we derive it from. My answer was, THE place to start is, God values us... enough to send His precious Son to die for us.
You might be a person of great faith, or you may be someone who has never darkened the door of a church in your life. It makes no difference. We have all felt the pangs of the Possum Lodge Brothers agreeing that being a man is, in and of itself, a poor enough condition to feel bad about.
Why is that? Why do so many of us feel so miserable about ourselves?
For many of us, sadly, it's because we really have failed someone or even many people in our lives. We've let someone very close to us down. Our wife. Our son. Our daughter. Our parents. A girlfiend. A close friend.
In other ways, we may feel like we've never achieved what we set out to achieve. In still other ways, we may not deserve the guilt we feel at all, but feel it because we were raised (unfairly) to consider ourselves less than worthy of anyone's admiration or concern.
Whatever the reason, this is not a condition we need to remain in. There is a remedy for this painful state.
Gideon, a man in the Old Testament book of Judges was a man who most certainly didn't see himself as anyone great or powerful during a time of opression by a foreign enemy. He was confronted by an angel from God one day who said, "The Lord is with you, Mighty Warrior" (Judges 6:12).
Can you imagine how Gideon felt, hiding in a winepress, threshing grain because he was afraid his enemy would show up and steal the food he was trying to provide for his family?
Long story short... Gideon went from this sorrowful state to lead the army of Israel in routing their oppressors. He lived out the words of the angel who spoke of how God saw him.
However you see yourself today, please realize that God has the ability to see strengths in us that we could never see. Oh, that we would all be able to stand together someday and say the Lion's Lodge Pledge together... "I'm a man. I am made in God's image. I am a Victor! And I am SURE of it!"
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The SOMEBODY Factor
"I'm SOMEBODY now, " Navin R. Johnson (played by Steve Martin in the 1979 movie, "The Jerk") exclaimed when he found his name in the new phone book. Were it only so simple for most of us.
One of the greatest struggles most men have, I believe, is that of possessing some sense of value in the materialistic world we inhabit.
What is it that gives you a sense of value? The pat answer for most is their job, career, family, home, some accomplishment, achievement, etc. I believe, however, that deep inside every man is a sense of emptiness. Something that cannot be filled by anything material.
What makes YOU "somebody"?
Personally, I have searched many avenues trying to find value and have only come up with one that is satisfactory. It's found in a simple parable in the book of Matthew that says, "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and in is joy went and sold all that he had and bought that field" (Matthew 13:44).
There are various interpretations of this parable, but I have found only one that answers it to my satisfaction. The field is the world, the man is Christ and WE are the treasure. Christ looked at the world and found that there would be a group of individuals who would accept his love and sacrifice. When he realized this treasure existed, He bought the world with the most precious substance in the universe - His blood - so He could have fellowship with those who would ultimately choose Him to share eternity with.
God Himself, having come to us in the flesh, offered the perfect sacrifice (Christ's death on the cross) in order to enjoy us as His treasure forever. That gives us eternal worth and value... and makes us SOMEBODY in the eyes of the only one in the universe who truly matters.
One of the greatest struggles most men have, I believe, is that of possessing some sense of value in the materialistic world we inhabit.
What is it that gives you a sense of value? The pat answer for most is their job, career, family, home, some accomplishment, achievement, etc. I believe, however, that deep inside every man is a sense of emptiness. Something that cannot be filled by anything material.
What makes YOU "somebody"?
Personally, I have searched many avenues trying to find value and have only come up with one that is satisfactory. It's found in a simple parable in the book of Matthew that says, "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and in is joy went and sold all that he had and bought that field" (Matthew 13:44).
There are various interpretations of this parable, but I have found only one that answers it to my satisfaction. The field is the world, the man is Christ and WE are the treasure. Christ looked at the world and found that there would be a group of individuals who would accept his love and sacrifice. When he realized this treasure existed, He bought the world with the most precious substance in the universe - His blood - so He could have fellowship with those who would ultimately choose Him to share eternity with.
God Himself, having come to us in the flesh, offered the perfect sacrifice (Christ's death on the cross) in order to enjoy us as His treasure forever. That gives us eternal worth and value... and makes us SOMEBODY in the eyes of the only one in the universe who truly matters.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Guy Stuff
I have had this blog page up for some time and have never done anything with it. Today though, I got a wild hair (a.k.a. inspiration from God?) to begin sharing thoughts about being a man in the Kingdom of God.
For some time, I have thought about how it's lonely for men in the church world. There are all types of men's fellowships, breakfasts, conferences, etc. And men are heralded for attending these meetings because it's assumed that most men would would rather not deal with problems that are confrontive and intrusive into their world. So, they are applauded for venturing out, listening to spiritual teaching, and thinking about spiritual issues - and such.
I am not demeaning these avenues of help. And truthfully, I believe it's true in many cases that men have a hard time discussing and dealing with hard problems in their lives. However, in many instances, I think what's happening is that the wrong things are being offered to men. Many churches think that men have to be lured by motorcycles and hot cars. What I believe men are really looking for, for the most part, is a safe place to talk about the real concerns of their lives. The hard questions. The ones they can't talk to their wives about. The ones they can't talk to their pastor about. The shameful memories. The frightening enigmas. The painful wounds.
Awhile back, a book was written that scratched the surface fairly deep about many of these issues (I will not mention the name of the book). For me, however, this book didn't go deep enough. And so, here I am... talking about these problems to the world at large (if I am fortunate enough for this blog to ever have that kind of impact).
This is a scary venture, truthfully. It may requre being more transparent than I want to be. I'm not sure where it will go, but I sense that men need help out there. Help with the pain, the turmoil and the scars that are so prevalent in our culture today.
The fairer sex are welcome to come here too. You ladies may be puzzled about the man in your life. Perhaps you will be able to find some answers here as well.
It is my sincere hope that the words I am posting on this blog will bring hope and solace to some frightened and troubled souls. Perhaps mine as much as anyone's.
For some time, I have thought about how it's lonely for men in the church world. There are all types of men's fellowships, breakfasts, conferences, etc. And men are heralded for attending these meetings because it's assumed that most men would would rather not deal with problems that are confrontive and intrusive into their world. So, they are applauded for venturing out, listening to spiritual teaching, and thinking about spiritual issues - and such.
I am not demeaning these avenues of help. And truthfully, I believe it's true in many cases that men have a hard time discussing and dealing with hard problems in their lives. However, in many instances, I think what's happening is that the wrong things are being offered to men. Many churches think that men have to be lured by motorcycles and hot cars. What I believe men are really looking for, for the most part, is a safe place to talk about the real concerns of their lives. The hard questions. The ones they can't talk to their wives about. The ones they can't talk to their pastor about. The shameful memories. The frightening enigmas. The painful wounds.
Awhile back, a book was written that scratched the surface fairly deep about many of these issues (I will not mention the name of the book). For me, however, this book didn't go deep enough. And so, here I am... talking about these problems to the world at large (if I am fortunate enough for this blog to ever have that kind of impact).
This is a scary venture, truthfully. It may requre being more transparent than I want to be. I'm not sure where it will go, but I sense that men need help out there. Help with the pain, the turmoil and the scars that are so prevalent in our culture today.
The fairer sex are welcome to come here too. You ladies may be puzzled about the man in your life. Perhaps you will be able to find some answers here as well.
It is my sincere hope that the words I am posting on this blog will bring hope and solace to some frightened and troubled souls. Perhaps mine as much as anyone's.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)