Oh, My Papa - Part 2

Previously, I talked about how I was able to forgive my father when I learned he'd had Alzheimer's for a number of years. This accounted for many of the clashes we'd had over time.

What I haven't discussed is that the problems in our relationship were not a one-way street... all his fault, in other words.

I could be pretty insolent. And I don't think I need to go into detail on any of that. Just chalk it up that I needed to be forgiven by HIM on many occasions as well.

What I want to emphasize in this post is that, learning of my father's Alzheimer's made it easy for me to forgive him fully. I suddenly realized how scared he must have been at times, not understanding what was happening to his mind and emotions as this disease slowly advanced.

But that did not take me off the hook in forgiving him regularly WITHOUT that knowlege. And I DID practice forgiveness toward him. But perhaps, not as often or as fully I should have.

I believe the primary thing that needs to happen in fathers turning their hearts toward their children and children turning their hearts toward their fathers (as stated in Malachi 4:6 and mentioned in my previous post), is LOADS of forgiveness and understanding. Living in a family is not easy. It takes ENORMOUS amounts of grace to get along.

A significant passage regarding this is Ephesians 6:1 - 4. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother', for this is the first commandment with promise - so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (NIV)

It's understandable that scripture would admonish children to obey their parents, but it's the second part that frightens me... the idea that fathers would provoke their children to anger. Another translation says, "Fathers, don't make your children bitter about life..." (God's Word Translation).

In these days of widespread substance abuse, I'm hearing horrific stories of men who, with deliberation, strip their children of any sense of self-worth they might have. Ridicule, anger, accusation, belittlement, lies. Many children are growing up with little self-confidence and support.

If this is the environment you grew up in, or an environment you're fostering, there is healing. It may be a process, but there is hope. Jesus told us in Luke 1:37, "...with God, nothing shall be impossible." (KJV)

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