As we watch another national figure sink deeper into a quagmire where he may have to resign his seat in Congress, we are reminded why cheating is such serious business (in this case, it may not even involve a physical relationship with someone. Only indecent pictures texted via social media).
People in high profile in our nation are facing serious consequences for their actions. A former Governor is currently having to face a several million dollar divorce - a pro golfer has lost millions in marketing support for having multiple affairs. There are serious consequences for failure in the faithfulness department.
What usually takes the greatest beating when there is unfaithfulness, however, are the relationships men have with those who mean the most to them.
I believe that most men who cheat think about the consequences of their actions, but feel a sort of invulnerability about being caught. In other words, they think about what possibly could happen, but don't really believe it will.
That is why the devastation is so pronounced when the truth finally comes out.
And that's why some men take chances... foolish chances that can cost them untold heartache and agony.
A wise pastor I knew at one time, who is no longer with us, used to say this often... "Sin will always take you farther than you want to go... make you stay longer than you want to stay... and make you pay more than you want to pay."
We as men need to ask ourselves often, "Are moments of pleasure worth a lifetime of pain?"
And let me say, I know there are many men who practice faithfulness in their lives and marriages, and they should be greatly commended. However, I have been so caught off guard by men who have been caught in an affair. It has taught me that there is NO one who is immune to this temptation.
If you have failed in this area, there is redemption. If you are tempted in this area, there is provision. And if you have hurt someone, there is always the possibility of reconciliation.
As Jesus said, "...the things which are impossible with men are possible with God" (Luke 18:27 - NIV).
Mark Joneschiet Music
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Your Cheatin' Heart (Part 1)
"Jim (fictitious name) will no longer be the leader you report to," the voice on the other end of the phone sadly informed me. "He's been removed from his pastorate. He's been involved in multiple affairs."
Sitting in my office, I was both saddened and stunned. This individual who had been placed over me as a regional leader in one of my pastorates had been living a double life. A husband and father, community leader and pastor; he was no longer in the ministry and had been publicly humiliated through a newspaper article that outlined his failings to an entire community.
Before anyone goes clucking their tongues over this, please realize... NO man is immune to this temptation. I know a number of men who were never in the ministry who have become unfaithful as well.
What causes men to go astray? What incites them to be unfaithful to the woman they promised to love and cherish... "till death do us part?"
I do not think there are any easy answers to this question, due to the fact that all of us are such complex beings. We all have different personality traits, likes and dislikes, character traits, and so on.
However, I believe there are some shared elements that help us understand what causes men to take such risks.
One of the deepest needs all individuals share, men and women alike, is a reason to exist - a need to have purpose and value, in other words.
A man who has lacks purpose and value will be hungry for anything that can come along and fill it.
Even men who have achieved great accomplishments in their lives can feel as though they lack these two elements.
Enter someone who suddenly appreciates them where, perhaps, they haven't been all that appreciated at home. Someone who isn't tied down by duties with the children, cooking, bed making, dish washing, etc. Someone who has time to appreciate this individual who has been feeling as though their life isn't really counting for much.
A movie was released in the year 2000 that doesn't deal specifically with the subject of marital infidelity, but is a perfect example of how a man can be wooed away from a wonderful relationship with a real partner by the desire for more worth, value and accomplishment in his life. The movie... The Family Man starring Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni.
In the movie, Cage plays a Scrooge-type character who is about to be married, but instead of heeding his fiance's intuitive concerns, leaves her to spend a year in London building their financial future. Even though he promises to return, he never does. He has placed his need for worth above the day-to-day relationship and then (in Dickens-like fashion), has a chance to see what his life would have been like if he had heeded his intended's concerns. It's simple, humdrum and day-to-day, with a less-than-exciting career as a manager of a tire store.
But, through the experience, he finds worth and value in the fray of everyday life, with all its banality, common-ness and simplicity.
One of the things a man needs to realize when he marries a woman is that his dreams may never be realized in the way he expects or desires for them to be. He needs to make a pact in his heart before God that this is the woman he intends to be faithful to through all the disappointments and anguishes of life. And to never allow anything or anyone interrupt that commitment.
This, I believe, is the fundamental commitment a man needs to make in his heart in order for a marriage to not only survive, but to thrive and to blossom throughout his life.
Sitting in my office, I was both saddened and stunned. This individual who had been placed over me as a regional leader in one of my pastorates had been living a double life. A husband and father, community leader and pastor; he was no longer in the ministry and had been publicly humiliated through a newspaper article that outlined his failings to an entire community.
Before anyone goes clucking their tongues over this, please realize... NO man is immune to this temptation. I know a number of men who were never in the ministry who have become unfaithful as well.
What causes men to go astray? What incites them to be unfaithful to the woman they promised to love and cherish... "till death do us part?"
I do not think there are any easy answers to this question, due to the fact that all of us are such complex beings. We all have different personality traits, likes and dislikes, character traits, and so on.
However, I believe there are some shared elements that help us understand what causes men to take such risks.
One of the deepest needs all individuals share, men and women alike, is a reason to exist - a need to have purpose and value, in other words.
A man who has lacks purpose and value will be hungry for anything that can come along and fill it.
Even men who have achieved great accomplishments in their lives can feel as though they lack these two elements.
Enter someone who suddenly appreciates them where, perhaps, they haven't been all that appreciated at home. Someone who isn't tied down by duties with the children, cooking, bed making, dish washing, etc. Someone who has time to appreciate this individual who has been feeling as though their life isn't really counting for much.
A movie was released in the year 2000 that doesn't deal specifically with the subject of marital infidelity, but is a perfect example of how a man can be wooed away from a wonderful relationship with a real partner by the desire for more worth, value and accomplishment in his life. The movie... The Family Man starring Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni.
In the movie, Cage plays a Scrooge-type character who is about to be married, but instead of heeding his fiance's intuitive concerns, leaves her to spend a year in London building their financial future. Even though he promises to return, he never does. He has placed his need for worth above the day-to-day relationship and then (in Dickens-like fashion), has a chance to see what his life would have been like if he had heeded his intended's concerns. It's simple, humdrum and day-to-day, with a less-than-exciting career as a manager of a tire store.
But, through the experience, he finds worth and value in the fray of everyday life, with all its banality, common-ness and simplicity.
One of the things a man needs to realize when he marries a woman is that his dreams may never be realized in the way he expects or desires for them to be. He needs to make a pact in his heart before God that this is the woman he intends to be faithful to through all the disappointments and anguishes of life. And to never allow anything or anyone interrupt that commitment.
This, I believe, is the fundamental commitment a man needs to make in his heart in order for a marriage to not only survive, but to thrive and to blossom throughout his life.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Possum Lodge Progress
Let's hear it, guys... all together... The Man's Prayer! You all know it if you've ever seen "The Red Green Show." "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."
My previous post was about worth and value and where we derive it from. My answer was, THE place to start is, God values us... enough to send His precious Son to die for us.
You might be a person of great faith, or you may be someone who has never darkened the door of a church in your life. It makes no difference. We have all felt the pangs of the Possum Lodge Brothers agreeing that being a man is, in and of itself, a poor enough condition to feel bad about.
Why is that? Why do so many of us feel so miserable about ourselves?
For many of us, sadly, it's because we really have failed someone or even many people in our lives. We've let someone very close to us down. Our wife. Our son. Our daughter. Our parents. A girlfiend. A close friend.
In other ways, we may feel like we've never achieved what we set out to achieve. In still other ways, we may not deserve the guilt we feel at all, but feel it because we were raised (unfairly) to consider ourselves less than worthy of anyone's admiration or concern.
Whatever the reason, this is not a condition we need to remain in. There is a remedy for this painful state.
Gideon, a man in the Old Testament book of Judges was a man who most certainly didn't see himself as anyone great or powerful during a time of opression by a foreign enemy. He was confronted by an angel from God one day who said, "The Lord is with you, Mighty Warrior" (Judges 6:12).
Can you imagine how Gideon felt, hiding in a winepress, threshing grain because he was afraid his enemy would show up and steal the food he was trying to provide for his family?
Long story short... Gideon went from this sorrowful state to lead the army of Israel in routing their oppressors. He lived out the words of the angel who spoke of how God saw him.
However you see yourself today, please realize that God has the ability to see strengths in us that we could never see. Oh, that we would all be able to stand together someday and say the Lion's Lodge Pledge together... "I'm a man. I am made in God's image. I am a Victor! And I am SURE of it!"
My previous post was about worth and value and where we derive it from. My answer was, THE place to start is, God values us... enough to send His precious Son to die for us.
You might be a person of great faith, or you may be someone who has never darkened the door of a church in your life. It makes no difference. We have all felt the pangs of the Possum Lodge Brothers agreeing that being a man is, in and of itself, a poor enough condition to feel bad about.
Why is that? Why do so many of us feel so miserable about ourselves?
For many of us, sadly, it's because we really have failed someone or even many people in our lives. We've let someone very close to us down. Our wife. Our son. Our daughter. Our parents. A girlfiend. A close friend.
In other ways, we may feel like we've never achieved what we set out to achieve. In still other ways, we may not deserve the guilt we feel at all, but feel it because we were raised (unfairly) to consider ourselves less than worthy of anyone's admiration or concern.
Whatever the reason, this is not a condition we need to remain in. There is a remedy for this painful state.
Gideon, a man in the Old Testament book of Judges was a man who most certainly didn't see himself as anyone great or powerful during a time of opression by a foreign enemy. He was confronted by an angel from God one day who said, "The Lord is with you, Mighty Warrior" (Judges 6:12).
Can you imagine how Gideon felt, hiding in a winepress, threshing grain because he was afraid his enemy would show up and steal the food he was trying to provide for his family?
Long story short... Gideon went from this sorrowful state to lead the army of Israel in routing their oppressors. He lived out the words of the angel who spoke of how God saw him.
However you see yourself today, please realize that God has the ability to see strengths in us that we could never see. Oh, that we would all be able to stand together someday and say the Lion's Lodge Pledge together... "I'm a man. I am made in God's image. I am a Victor! And I am SURE of it!"
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